Undead Programming and You!

The only thing an Undead will do of its own volition is defend itself from an aggressor.
The spirit binding the corpse prefers to do nothing. The only higher priority is staying attached to the corpse, since unattached spirits are almost immediately dragged back into hell.
To prevent this they tend to strike first and fight with vicious desperation. The animating spirit would do anything to stay out of hell, and if that means sending your soul down in their place so much the better.

A Necromancer speaking with the Voice of the Dead can override this instinct and force the recalcitrant spirits into following simple orders. This is largely because the ghost knows that the Necromancer can quite easily shuck them from the corpse and reanimate with another spirit who will be more than grateful to leave eternal damnation.
Sadly for black magic enjoyers, the spirits animating the ungrateful Dead can't (or won't) understand complex orders. The swirling ectoplasms are endlessly spiteful and just kinda dumb. All personality and intelligence burned away by hellfire and pitchforks or, depending on your faith, broken by eternal solitary confinement in the metaphysical equivalent of a black room with padded walls.

Hence the classic Necromancer growls of "Attack this", "Move there", "Follow me" and of course "Go forth and kill all that live!". This removes the chance of things going wrong via an overcomplicated and/or a cunningly misinterpreted command, especially when you're in command of a horde.

Experienced Necromancers know that you can expand this exactly one step further with an "else".
"If I point, attack what I'm pointing at, else follow me." That sort of thing.
More complicated instructions are, alas, beyond the abilities of the Dead. GoTo's and Nested IF statements have historically run up against a hard barrier of confusion, stupidity, and the feigned incompetence of the Damned.

i have no idea what he just told me to do oh fuck oh fuck

What I Thought You Thought I Meant

When you first Raise or Subjugate the Dead to bring them under your control, you give them a simple if-then-else command.

For standard dungeon operations this is usually along the lines of "If I am attacked, kill my attacker, else follow" so they trail along and defend you if necessary.

The trouble comes when it's time for more complex orders or changing orders at speed. This could be due to a trap, player shenanigans, an ambush, plans failing to survive contact with the enemy, whatever.

Reprogram:

- You get one command per round. A second command takes an Action.
- A command can target an individual minion, all of a certain type of Dead (eg. all your zombies), or everything in earshot. 

So say you've been ambushed by some generic bandits.
You're a Necromancer with three skeletons, five zombies, and a giant undead crab. They're all still set to follow you unless you're attacked, but you want the minions to run in while your crab stays back to defend your squishy body.

You huff a Last Breath and have choices like -
- Command "All minions, attack my foes!" and start casting a spell, you can call the crab back with your free command next round once the spell has gone off.
- Use your free command to say, "All skeletons, attack their archers!" and use an Action for a second command, "All zombies, attack the sword guys!" You can't cast a spell this time, but at least you've got crab protection.
- Just say "Crab, attack anyone who gets close, else stay in front of me!" and start shooting over its shell. The rest of your Dead should shuffle in to attack if the baddies return fire, right?

Notice that you don't have to be that specific. "Attack the sword guys" is perfectly fine, and I'm not going to do some monkey's paw stuff with "harr harr technically you said attack the caster so now your skeletons are attacking YOU harr harr". The limitation is on micromanagement rather than how well you can word the command.

Note that if you've got prep time (like you've scouted the big bad boss in the next room and it hasn't seen you yet) you can easily spend a minute or two programming all your minions in advance so you don't have to waste time reordering them in the heat of battle.

we are experiencing a high volume of calls right now

Side note: The Voice of the Dead

Raising new Dead, subjugating existing Dead, or commanding Dead under your control requires one key component - the Voice of the Dead.

This is gained by breathing in the Last Breath of a sapient creature. Necromancers carry glass vials for this very reason, harvesting the Last Breath of a recently killed foe (or sacrifice) at the moment of death, then stoppering it to save it for later use.

A single vial is good for a few minutes of the Voice of the Dead, but makes you talk in a death metal growl that burns the throat. The Dead can't hear you otherwise.

This is, by the by, why vampires and liches and stuff make great Necromancers. They're always speaking with Voice of the Dead.

My table traditionally refers to a vial of Last Breath with extra blood and chunks as a "wetty"

Y tho

Micromanagement!

The Necromancer, among other things, can be a Minion Class. Raising an army of the damned is what players expect, and why wouldn't they?

My other Minion Classes are Halfling (one big minion), Goblin (1 minion/level) and Ratman (minions = level²).

The difference with the Necromancer is that there are no hard limits. Necromancers don't have an upper bound beyond "how many can I raise at once?" and "how many can I keep alive?" and "how many can I reasonably fit on the marching order sheet?".

My intention here is to make the difference one of control.

You can have an arbitrarily large horde, but actually managing them in a combat situation is hard.
You don't have fine-grained control unless you're willing to spend all your time yelling orders from the back rather than casting spells (which is perfectly valid Necromancer behaviour, I may add - also true of sports coaches).

This isn't a real issue if you only keep a few minions at a time, since you can order individual minions to do different stuff as the need arises.
Problems start to occur when you're bringing in a horde of the Dead and can't do much more than a Necromantic select-all.

Of course having a horde of zombies with you will also have noise implications on the Underclock, but this command/reprogram thing is more about adding a bit of friction in combat or otherwise under time pressure.

real heads know

Implications

This works great if you've got an army of the Dead. Just set and forget! "Kill everyone in the village", "prevent anyone from entering the graveyard" or whatever, no questions asked.

Plus they'll keep doing it forever unless you go over and change their orders yourself. No big deal if you forget to do that, you're leaving your mark on the world!

It also explains why armies of the Undead tend to have a fair few living Necromancers in there. 

If you're the head honcho you could technically do it all yourself and just send all your dead into battle, but it means your enemies can fairly trivially kite your troops, hide behind shield walls and barricades, or bait them into pit traps. Having Necromancer lieutenants around to micromanage individual units gives you way more tactical flexibility when the Living try that nonsense.

This happens to be why tomb guardians often only seem to come to life once you've claimed the ancient treasure. Some Necromancer once commanded, "if someone touches the amulet, kill them! Else pretend to be a pile of bones" and never came back.

It's often why senior Necromancers like to have a particular room where they hang out in the dungeon.
It's the only place where their orders are juuuust right. It would be really annoying to reset the commands on all the arachnoid bone-constructs lurking above the throne room who have been ordered to drop down when they hear the words "Now, my pretties!!"

Go forth and kill all that live!

Secret Santicorn 2025 - 1d12 Odd "Medieval" Dragons

Sylvanas_iii asks for:

A dX table of medieval dragons that look nothing like any self-respecting dragon should (e.g. the original French tarrasque) 

And thus I have found a bunch of illustrations of various dragons, most medieval, which are admittedly pretty similar. Honestly the OG Tarrasque is the best of the lot so I'll save that for last!

ROLL 1d12

1. Linear Longfellow

2. Beast of the Last Apocalypse

3. Cooler S

4. Stone-Bound Midgard Knotwyrm

5. Tatzelwurm

6. Peluda

7. Dragonogard

8. Angelcatcher

9. Graoully-Wagon

10. Gargoyle Pipedrake

11. Well Knucker

12. French Tarrasque

1. Linear Longfellow

HD10 AC Plate ML 10
Flyby attack 2d6. On hit, snatches into jaws and flies upwards!
1/day Cloud Breath Attack leaves thick cloud of moist fog.

This dragon very rarely touches the ground. It lives in thick clouds and follows along with cold fronts.
If the clouds dissipate it becomes exposed, and in its shame and horror it skims down to the ground to hunt those who saw it up there!

In combat it is swift but finds it hard to turn quickly, preferring to dart at a soft target and fly swiftly into the sky to drop the foe as many storeys as possible to their doom!

2. Beast of the Last Apocalypse

HD16 HD Chain ML 8
3 two-horned heads deal 2d6 each. 4 one-horned heads deal 1d6 each. Can grab up to 11 foes with its tails and slap them together for 1d10 per time or toss them away for fall damage.
Each head can breathe Golgotha Fumes 1/day in a sphere that triggers any prophecies within 50'.

Emerged from the sea during a previous End Time, the Final Hero never made it, and now it's at a bit of a loose end. Refuses to return to the sea. Attacks heroic individuals in the hope that it can get in on a subsequent prophecy.

In combat just goes wild grabbing people, smashing them together, throwing them at others, and eviscerating whoever's foolish enough to get in front of it.

3. Cooler S

HD6 AC Leather ML5
Bite 1d8. When hit, releases a Starburst Flash blinding all who see it until they Save vs Stun.
1/day Torchburst Beam blinds in a line.

Chubby little fellow who flees from foes and hopes to lead them into a small space where they'll easily be blinded and easily eaten.
Dead foes become a new star on its skin.

4. Stone-Bound Midgard Knotwyrm
Rock Form:
HD20 AC Plate ML12.
Regen 1d10/rd.
Wyrm Form:
HD8 AC Chain ML6
Choke 1d10. At will, transform between rock form and wyrm form.
1/day Stonelock Breath traps victims as patterns on stone until they Save vs Stun.

Accidentally summoned to life when an unwitting cultist sacrificed a seventh son of a seventh son on a particularly cool rune stone. The carving swarmed to life and devoured all in attendance!

Can shift between its original stone form (resistant, hard to hurt) and a wiggly knotted wyrm form that loves to choke and strangle.

5. Tatzelwurm

HD8 AC Leather ML9
Two claws 1d6 each, bite 1d10 + instakill poison unless Save vs Doom.
1/day Avarice Cloud transforms all the treasure on the victim(s) into another Tatzelwurm.

Cat-faced and shrill dragon whose fangs drip a deadly poison. Forms from buried treasure that remained hidden beyond the owner's death. If killed, collapses into the treasure it was made from.

6. Peluda

HD6 AC16 ML7

Bite 1d10, Tail swipe 1d6 + Poison.
If hit by an unarmed strike, attacker is poisoned unless they Save vs Doom.
1/day breathe out a flood of water that destroys crops and sweeps away foes. Save vs Stun or be washed away and prone.

This hairy beast spends its life submerged just below the water, crawling along the muddy bottom of freshwater rivers on tortoise feet.
The long fur on its body breaks up its outline, making it look like a mass of sunken reeds in clear water and practically invisible in a muddy stream.

Poisonous spikes protrude from the fur, and the same poke out of its club-ended tail which it swings with clumsy vigour.

Luckily it is something of a coward, and if confronted by overwhelming force it with breathe out a flood and hide in the choppy water as it swims away to escape. This does, however, do a number on crops and infrastructure in the flood zone.

7. Dragonogard

HD8 AC14 ML10

Front Bite 1d10. Back Bite 2 attacks per round at 1d6 each with the range of a spear.

1/day Combination Ray targets 2 foes and merges them back-to-back. No save. If one merged victim is damaged, the other takes the same. Both victims have -4 to hit and can't move unless they move at the exact same time. Victims can Save vs Doom every 24 hours, and if both are successful they unmerge.

Double-ended dragon with the front face of a kangaroo and the back face of a monkey on a serpent neck. They have a brotherly but antagonistic relationship with each other.

Prefers to jump into the air with its powerful kangaroo legs and hover while its monkey-faced tail darts down to tear off faces.

It will use its Combination Ray on people who clearly don't get along, or else two people with wildly different skillsets like attaching a Fighter to a Magic-User. 

It finds this really funny, the heads will be laughing about it for days!

8. Angelcatcher

HD6 AC14 ML5

Bite 1d10 absorbs 1 Lawful magical effect, prepared Cleric spell, or holy weapon ability and applies it to the Angelcatcher.

Immune to damage from Lawful entities and effects.

A dull-coloured dragon covered in ratlike fur and the size of a large Alsatian. It desperately wishes to devour Gods. Large bat wings allow it to fly for miles, but not high enough to reach its prey in Heaven.

The crime it committed to become immune to Gods was so heinous that they sent the Great Flood to erase all knowledge of its existence. While the knowledge was scoured, the Angelcatcher remains, quietly drifting through the sky to drop down on innocent angels like a falcon.

9. Graoully-Wagon

HD10 AC16 ML12

Crushing bite 1d20. Those in front of the moving wagon choose: take 1d10 damage or be thrown backwards 1d6*10'
1/day Procession Breath forces all in a 50' cone to push the wagon wherever it wants. Those unwilling can Save vs Chaos every ten minutes to stop.

A wooden dragon mounted on a wooden wagon. It has enormous jaws, an iron tongue, crushing teeth, and moves inexorably forward at the hands of a bunch of mind-controlled peasants who are having a wonderful time.

The Graoully-Wagon moves from town to town picking up extra people to help push it onwards and onwards.

Anyone who gets in its way is munched, thrown backwards, or crushed under its wheels.

10. Gargoyle Pipedrake

HD5 AC18 ML6

Acid Spit 1d8 plus rusts armour (-2 AC cumulative)

1/day Acid Rain Spray deals 4d8 (Save vs Blast for half) to all in 20' blast zone and rots metal away to nothing unless the save is passed.

Sentient pipework infected by the verdegrised soul of a copper dragon. Attaches to drainpipes and forms a spout. It can convert rain running through it into acid, spitting it at lone passersby during rainy nights and drooping down to slurp up the soupy residue.

It can zap to other buildings in thunderstorms by riding the lightning up and down through the clouds. A big enough storm means that it can travel to any town under the thunderhead.

11.Knucker

HD6 AC14 ML5

Bite 1d10 + drags victim down at a rate of 10'/round.
At will, cause the well or shaft they are in to become infinitely deep. 

A serpentine drake that inhabits deep vertical holes filled with water. Their natural habitat is knuckerholes, deep vertical holes in the geology, but they now prefer wells.

They are ambush predators, preferably grabbing a single victim and holding them underwater until they drown.

They can supernaturally cause the bottom of the shaft to become infinitely deep. They use this ability to hide from hunters (since if they are in the pocket dimension beneath the bottom of the well, they cannot be found) and to murder their prey (since the prey in the pocket dimension cannot get out, and if it hasn't drowned already it will soon).

12. Tarrasque

HD12 AC20 ML12

Sword-Teeth Bite 2d10 + Swallow for ongoing 1d10, tail swipe 1d8 to all in 30' arc behind it, ocular flame beam 1d8 + sets on fire at range of shortbow.

Anybody in melee range at the start of their turn must Save vs Blast or take 1d8 damage from tortoise spikes.

Counterattacks with a claw for 1d8 if a melee attack misses it.

1/day Save or Die Poison Breath Cloud 30'

A horse-sized monster as fat a a bull. It has a lion's head with massive teeth, the shell of a tortoise which is covered in spines, a long snakey tail, and six legs with enormous claws.

However it is very pious and will refuse to attack anyone bearing a holy symbol unless they attack it first, and if sprinkled with holy water it will become unable to harm anyone at all. For this reason it usually stays near water and begrudgingly accepts that this makes people think it's half-fish.

Another Underclock

I've been using Arnold's Underclock since about 5 minutes after that blog post dropped. It's great!

Trouble is I do miss the "oh shit there's something here RIGHT NOW that we have to deal with!" aspect of random encounters. So, as is my way, I've decided to nest other peoples' ideas into one thing and pretend like it's a new thing.

This is my Underclock. There are many like it but this one is mine.

Fusion: Underclock AND Overload

I mean Arnold did say "I like overloaded encounter dice. I like the Underclock more".

In summary:

• The players roll a 1d6 Encounter Die each exploration turn and mark off that many squares on the Underclock (left to right).
• The Encounter Die is overloaded so it always does something, but it's usually some sort of Clue.
• If they land on a monster face it's a classic Random Encounter. The clock keeps ticking.
• If they reach the end they have an Encounter with the local faction. Reset the clock.

Simple enough right? 1 in 6 chance of a Random Encounter every time, plus it eventually builds up to a guaranteed encounter they can prepare for.

Alertness

But what is "Alertness", I hear you ask?

This represents the organised dungeon denizens seeking you out.

The DM rolls the Alertness Die if you did something to attract attention.
Cause a ruckus, let foes escape alive, blow up a door, set off an alarm, knock a skeleton down a big well even though a wizard told you not to, that sort of thing.

The Alertness Die result marks off squares back up the Underclock towards you, reducing the time horizon until you get that guaranteed encounter.

If this overtakes your position on the Underclock, they get the jump on you with a surprise round!

The Alertness Die starts at d2 and increases a die size per encumbrance tier. 
The highest encumbrance in the party counts, because stealthily slipping through shadows doesn't matter when Sir Stabbington is stomping close behind in heavy armour and carrying a sackful of jingling treasure.

There's also the fact that sleeping in a monster-infested cave is generally a bad move, but sometimes you've got no other choice.

The Alertness Die permanently increases by one step if you sleep (in modern parlance, take a Long Rest) in a dungeon.
This resets if you leave the dungeon and spend a night on the surface.

The DM can always bump it up a level or two if you're habitually going around making extra noise. Dragging a handcart full of loot around, escorting a gaggle of kids who think it's a museum trip, wielding a singing sword who won't shut up, etc.

Local Faction

As for what the "local faction" is, this is whatever organised foes are mostly likely to be around.

This will be the Goblins in the Goblin Lair, the Necromancers in the Skeletal Hoard, the Magnet Eaters in the Technodungeon, etc etc.

In a Megadungeon you might have different local factions across a dungeon level, like Goblins in the west and Ratmen in the east.
If there is no such group, like it's an abandoned wizard's tower or forgotten tomb, this is the Mythic Underworld itself trying to eject you by means of whatever the most defining beastie is inside it. In the Antediluvian Manse it's Cataclysm Ghosts. In the Cretan Labyrinth, it's the Minotaur.

The main thing is that the players should be able to make an educated guess at what's coming for them so if the Underclock is close to running out they can make plans for ambushes, fortifications, hiding places, or fun rooms to lure their enemies into. 

Of course if the PCs are on good terms with said local faction, this could be a perfectly charming little social encounter! Yet another good reason not to murder everyone you meet.

Mêlée à Trois

There is every possibility that the players can land on a square that has a monster face and has already been marked off by the local faction.

In this case there's a random encounter and a faction encounter simultaneously.
Get chaotic! Even the random encounter is Goblins and the faction is Goblins, make up a reason why these Goblins hate each other nearly as much as they hate intruders!

Overloaded Encounter Die

Finally, the Encounter Die itself.

The players always roll a d6 and it goes like so:

1. Clue: Spoor
2. Clue: Tracks
3. Clue: Traces
4. Noise
5. Special
6. Special

Clue

These are all ways of giving the players an idea of what sort of beasties live around here, as in the original overloaded "Percept (clue, spoor)" result or Shadowed encounters on the OG Underclock.

Clue: Spoor means the creature is very close. It could be stalking you. This will be growls, shadows rushing past at the corner of your eye, still-steaming shadow effluent.
Roll a random encounter, describe the spoor, and lock it in. Next time they hit a Random Encounter it will be with that creature. Lasts until they hit the random encounter or roll a different Clue.

Clue: Tracks means the creature isn't close, but it's been here recently. This will be footprints, slime trails, clawmarks, dropped scraps, a recently devoured corpse.
Roll a random encounter, describe the tracks (and decide where it is, within a few rooms). If the players follow the tracks they can find the creature and surprise it! If they ignore the tracks, no further effect.

Clue: Traces is just evidence of the creature being around here somewhere. This will be shed fur, graffiti, a molted exoskeleton, an old nest.

Roll the encounter die and describe the traces. No further effect.

Noise

An errant sneeze, an accidental clang of the shield against a wall, an unseen femur cracked beneath your tread. Whatever it is, you've made enough noise to attract attention.

Everyone checks their current Encumbrance (in case someone has been mysteriously lax), then the DM rolls the Alertness Die.

Special

These are dungeon-specific results to give a pinch of dungeon-specific flavour.

By default (ie. common dungeon and/or if I haven't prepared something in time) these are:

5. Doors: Open doors swing closed, and closed doors become stuck this turn.

6. Lights: Light sources flicker and dim, you can barely see this turn.

In a spoopy dungeon they could be:

5. Fear! Save or drop everything and run screaming back the way you came - Save again in each room, you stop running when you finally succeed.

6. Bats! Swarm of bats puts out all light sources, those without a light Save or take 1d6 damage.

In a crashed spaceship they could be:

5. Magnetic Pulse! All metal objects (including you, if you're in metal armour) are stuck to the ground this turn.

6. Null Gravity! Everyone's floating in zero-G this turn.

Add a couple of fun effects and the dungeon will hopefully be memorable! Especially if you are...

A Victim of a Series of Accidents

If I roll a Special result that triggers an encounter, do both happen?
Can I land on a random encounter and roll a clue simultaneously?
If the Encounter Die hits a random encounter AND a Noise result, resulting in the local faction surprising me, am I fucked?

Yes.
Very very much yes.

It's up to the DM to work out this particular admixture. The more chaotic the better!

Discussion, However Brief

So basically this sub-system retains the time pressure "oh shit let's plan ahead"-ness of the Underclock with the surprising "oh shit ITS HERE!"-ness of the random encounter roll.

When the Underclock is getting close to finishing, it's probably a good idea to be extra super quiet (so they don't get the drop on you) and prepare for whatever's going to turn up (by setting up your ambush and waiting out the last few dots on the Underclock).
This won't always work of course, there's always the risk of a Noise result giving the baddies an ambush opportunity, but most of the time it's reliable...

The intelligent monsters being a guaranteed eventuality and the wandering monsters being an occasional occurrence should give each dungeon its own special flavour and its own sense-memory for my poor benighted players. After all, what's the point of invading the Goblin Caves if you never actually see a Goblin?

Most importantly the systems interlock in a way that will surprise me too!

Plus I get to update my Marching Order sheet to make the Underclock a bigger deal.

I even updated the Fleeing Table! Find it here.

Some Monsters

It might sound like heresy to the old school crowd, but even if you're running an old school game you should have a peek at the 5e Monster Manual when you're statting up monsters.

Read through the Labyrinth Lord/OSE/S&W/etc Monster Manuals and you'll get a lot of generic stat blocks of predictable HD/AC/ML and the sort of generic claw/claw/bite or weapon attacks you could have made up yourself. This results in the evergreen tip of Just Use Bears.

Meanwhile 5e will at least give a generic Goblin the ability to run and hide as a bonus action.

Basically if you've run enough D&D and you're running an OSR module with not much prep time, give the 5e MM listing a quick glance to see if there's anything interesting the monster could be doing beyond 3 attacks at 1d6/1d6/1d8.

The other thing about running anything is that you've got about a hundred different things zooming through your head at a time, so if there's an ability it should be pretty easy to remember and simple to adjudicate, and if there's some sort of contextual trigger you should probably just tell the players as soon as seems reasonable (that way it's in their head instead) and/or tie it to something obvious like death throes or odd/even damage rolls.

You can also have a Recharge mechanic like 4e monsters - special abilities are recharged (and usually immediately used) on a d6 roll.

So in that vein here are some normal monsters.

Black Pudding

HD10 AC13 ML12

Menacing pile of jet black ooze that dissolves pretty much anything that's not stone.

Fears fire, but not light. Immune to acid, poison and cold.

When hit by a stabby or choppy weapon, splits into two smaller oozes with half the HP which each have the same attack.

Hits for 2d10 damage. Hits deal a Notch to armour. Weapons that touch it are also Notched.

Slow but can squeeze through very small gaps no worries. A terror.

Carrion Crawler

HD3 AC12 ML5

Squirming maggoty corpse eaters with a full 8 attacks from their 8 flailing stingers. 

Each hit deals a Pain Poison (1-in-HD chance to pass out per round) but no damage. 

Bites for a mere 1d4, but that's cold comfort when you and your friends are paralyzed.

Deep Ones

HD2 AC14 ML9

4-eyed frog monsters.

2 claws for 1d6 each + paralyzing bite for 1d6: as much Pain Poison on failed Save vs Doom.

Long ranged hand-tongue attack - on hit they suck you towards them (for small things) or them to you (for brutal leap). Successful tongue attack means they get a free bite or wrestle at +4 to hit.

Deep One "Mermaid"

HD4 AC14 ML9

2 claw attacks for 1d6 + magic pheremones charm all who scent them. 

She looks like the woman of your dreams. If you're not into women you get a +4 bonus to the Save vs Doom or be Charmed and do whatever she wants - usually get implanted with frogspawn.

1d4 hours gestation time (Roll 1d4 every hour - on a 4 it's time). Save vs Doom or rupture as the eggs erupt from your throat.

Eggs swell into Sea Salties after 24 hours immersed in water. A Sea Saltie that sinks to a great pressure will hatch into a male Deep One. A Sea Saltie that's swallowed replaces your tongue with a baby female Mermaid that will grow and slip out of your mouth into fresh water in a few weeks.

Swallowing a Sea Saltie gives you an hour of water breathing and pressure resistance from the unnatural mutagens. Further sea salties don't breed more mermaids though!

Dwimmerdragon

HD9 AC16 ML9

Wingless dragon-ish creatures made of Azoth-enriched stone, siblings to the Dwarves and originally designed as protectors of the Dwimmermount mines.

Alas, they cannot leave the Azoth area without falling ill and slowly turning back to stone.

They make Stone Sons of themselves, original masters of the technique.

They are chatty and vain, prone to flattery.

They are covered in pearls and gems, a side effect of the stone son procedure, worth 1d10*1000 obols.

Roll 1d6 for their attack each round:

1-2: 1d6/1d6/3d10 claw/claw/bite 

3-4: Garlicy sulphur-breath deals their HP in a cloud and turns extremities of non-stone creatures to dirt.

5: Roll two spells and cast one of them as a L9 Wizard.

6: Sink into stone and regenerate 1d10 HP.

Gargoyle

HD4 AC14/20 ML7

Weeping Angel style menaces. While in line of sight they are statues - AC20, take 1 damage from non-magical. 

When not seen they are blindingly fast dusky blue winged creatures that leap and strike with a claw/claw/horn for 1d6 each.

Smashing a gargoyle turns the area pitch black - as Darkness 15' Radius.

Gelatinous Cube

HD4 AC12 ML12

Practically invisible. 

Pseudopod attack on all in melee range for 1d6. 

Envelops stunned people for 1d8 damage/round. Wrestle at +8 to escape.

When damaged Save vs Stun or get as much Pain Poison. 

Giant Boring Beetle

HD4 AC14 ML6

Huge beetles with big mandibles. Bite 5d4. Drones on and on.

All Boring Beetles are linked in a giant hivemind. They act as one and all roll the same die - it applies to all attacking beetles.

If you are bitten by a Boring Beetle you are infected with their Boring Hive Mind and get the same roll as the beetles. This lasts until a Boring Beetle rolls under your Wisdom Score with an attack.

Giant Stag Beetle

HD5 AC16 ML6

Surprisingly stealthy. Giant stag beetle loves to grab and pinch and crush!

Two attacks. On hit, 1d8 damage and Wrestle at +10. Deals 1d20 damage in a Wrestle.

Can move around normally while Wrestling, hoping to drag prey into a dark corner.

Giant Tick

HD2 AC14 ML8

Huge arm-length ticks that crawl up you and stick their whole head in your body to feed on your blood.

Horribly fast. 

Drain 1d6 HP and 1 Constitution from their victim per round. Drop off if burned, submerged, or killed.

Victims Save vs Doom after combat or contract the tick's paralysing disease - every day Save vs Doom or lose 1 point of Strength. Pass 2 days in a row to recover.

Green Slime

Drops on living things to turn them into more of it. Awareness check to avoid as it falls.

Deals 1d6 Constitution damage/rd (Save vs Doom for half) until scraped, burnt or frozen off.

Burning always works (and deals 1d6 damage to the recipient), the slime leaps away from the open flame.

Scraping deals 1d6 damage and the recipient gets a Save vs Doom to make the green slime get gone.

Destroyed by fire and sunlight.

Hell Hound

HD4 AC12 ML12

Stitched-together corpse frankensteins made from dogs.

Bite for 1d10. 

Breathes flies and glowing green poisonous vomit in a cone for 1d8 damage + Notch armour and weapons. Recharges on a 1-2.

Can detect invisible with exceptional hearing and smell.

Horrible Unicorn Persons

HD6 AC15 ML8

Astonishingly fast (hence AC) and pale white. An attempt to make a perfect being that went horribly wrong. Won't attack virgins unless attacked first. Androgynous, nude, no genitals.

Double damage horn ram on charge, attack at +8 and wield great weapons that lend them +2 damage from strength. 2 attacks - 1 gore with horn for 1d8, 1 weapon attack usually a greataxe for 1d10+2. Punch for 1d6 in a pinch.

Phase Spider

HD5 AC14 ML8

Spiders whose webbing phases into the Ghost Dimension. 

While on the webs, these spiders can phase in and out at will. Off the webs, it takes a Move.

Bite deals 1d6 damage and as much Pain Poison on a failed Save vs Doom. The venom phases you into the Ghost Dimension while it's in your system. Good luck!

Roper

HD10 AC16 ML8

Classic stalagmite monster.

50' reach with its 1d8 damage tentacles.

On hit, grabs you by the leg and pulls you through the air towards its maw. You've got two tries to escape the Wrestle, else 1d20 damage per chomp.

Rust Monster

HD5 AC12 ML6

Strange cockroach-like beasts with whipping antennae, rust monsters rust metal and eat the rust. Dreaded by all.

2 tentacle whip attacks deals 1d4 Notches to metal armour on hit.

Hitting it deals 1d4 Notches to metal weapons.

If it crumbles a weapon or armour to rust it'll spend a round eating it up, very cute.

Shambling Mound

HD10 AC18 ML12

A mass of moist vegetation around a supremely hard to hurt (thus AC 18) moist wet core.

Two clubbing limb attacks for 1d8 each. If both hit, auto-grapples and engulfs, suffocating you and dealing 2d8 damage per round.

Lightning attacks heal it for traditional reasons. Vegetation is too moist to burn so takes only 1 damage per die from fire attacks. 1 damage from Smashy or Stabby weapons.

Wight

HD4 AC12 ML12

Humanoid shapes full of shadow and burning black fire.

Immune to mundane.

Armour piercing 1d4 ghostly chilling touch + Save vs Doom or Level drain (down to just under level up). Inform the players of this as soon as they see the Wight and see how they react!

Anyone drained by a Wight becomes a 2HD Wight under its control, their soul dragged from their body by a spectral claw and turned to burning darkness.

Ravenous Zombie

HD3, AC14, ML12.

A zombie that ate a brain and became fast and intelligent. Glowing red eyes give them away. 

Vicious and can speak, mostly to mock and coordinate. 

2 claw attacks for 1d6 each. 

Always burst down the person with the most Bleed dice, or otherwise least HP. 

Ravenous Mode lasts 10 minutes, so usually walk around like a regular zombie until they spot prey.

Zombie
HD1, AC13, ML 12.

1d6 claw. Double HP. Slow as hell - they have a special third initiative behind everyone else.
If they eat an intelligent creature's brain - become a Ravenous Zombie.

Horde: +1 Backstab per zombie in melee range of their target.

Spherical Angels and the Gods They Serve

Angels are an enemy that my players have fought quite a few times over the years.

These angels are nakedly technological - basically Modrons with a slice of Evangelion - and they're sent down by the ASE-inspired orbital gods which orbit the planet.

Here are some facts about Angels.
- They are spherical with a single central eye, and roll around in ball form when they're not in combat mode. 
- They sing to each other in Angelic Binary so fighting them sounds like fighting a choir. 
- If you kill a higher-ranked angel, one of the lesser angels upgrades to replace them.

- A full choir of them numbers exactly 21, since they are arranged with a leader Ophanim who commands four Tacticians each of whom commands four Baseline angels.
- They are part of an ancient failsafe designed to prevent the end of the world, a task they only partially succeeded at back during the Apocalypse.
- The angels are ultimately controlled by whichever God is overhead that week, and each God has their own agenda and grants the angels a different special ability.

In gameplay terms they've got a fair few gimmicks, all ultimately predictable because Law is predictable.

Mostly they scare my players because they've got good armour, magic immunity, the ranged ones have armour piercing beam cannons, and killing the leader first is a bad idea because their minions just upgrade to take their place.
That plus they usually go for Chaotic characters first, so wizards feel very victimised.

Might as well start with the stats!

I have other drawings saved somewhere but can't find them so enjoy this quick scrawl!

Stats

Angels in General

Abilities
- Immunities: Immune to Chaotic magic and stasis weaponry.
- Patrol Mode: Roll around in spherical form, mostly used when on patrol or on standby.
- Flight Mode: Can transform into a ball with wings and fly around. Can't attack in this form.
- Scan: Detect Alignment at will.

Angel - Baseline

Baseline angels are the rank and file. Four Baselines are commanded by a single Tactician.
Baselines obey orders blindly, and have no executive function of their own.
They have little skinny legs and little skinny arms and little skinny wings and basically look just like a Modron.

Stats:

HD2. AC Chain. Morale 12.
Unarmed attack: 1d6.

Abilities:

- Weapon Swap: When commanded by their Tactician, they immediately generate any kind of melee weapon. (See "Weapon Types" in the house rules)
- Upgrade: When their commanding Tactician is destroyed or upgraded, one of its subsidiary Baseline angels transforms into a Tactician. It gains +2 HD immediately.

Angel - Tactician

Tactician Angels are a real-time calculating node in the angel network. Four Tacticians are commanded by a single Ophanim. 
They have some tactical reasoning but these are strictly limited to the present moment, they have no ability for long term strategy. Mostly this is calculating stuff like "enemies are in heavy armour, use hammers" and telling their Baselines to swap to hammers.

Stats:

HD 4. AC Chain. Morale 12.
Unarmed ram attack: 1d6
or 2 armour-piercing stasis beam cannons: 1d6 each

Abilities:
- Switch Up: As an action, can order their Baseline minions to swap weapons.
- Upgrade: When their commanding Ophanim is destroyed or upgraded, one of its subsidiary Tactician angels transforms into an Ophanim. It gains +4 HD immediately.

Angel - Ophanim

Ophanim angels are the commanders of their group. One Ophanim commands 4 Tacticians that each command 4 Baselines, for a total of 21 angels per Choir.
They have the capacity for longer term strategy and are hubs for the wider angel network.
They are ultimately overseen by the Seraphim dropship that hovers at the edge of the Stratosphere.
This plus they're a whirling array of metal and high-powered beam weapons that can encase a large area within an impenetrable stasis barrier.

Stats:

HD 8. AC Plate. Morale 12.

Whirling shard attack: Attack all in 10' for 1d6 damage.
or 2 armour-piercing stasis beam cannons: 1d12 each.

Abilities:
- Reactive Movement: If hit by an attack, may take a free move without triggering Opportunity Attacks.
- Stasis Shell: As an action, create a 50' diameter shell of frozen time impenetrable to almost all non-angels. Takes a round to spin up and lasts until the Ophanim stops maintaining it. Things can still move inside the barrier, but they can't cross out and any projectiles crossing the barrier get stuck. The Ophanim itself can't act while maintaining the field, so needs to rely on its minions to destroy anything that's in there with it.

One of my players rendered one of them!

Tactics

First off, Angels hate Chaos.
They'll always attack Chaotic entities first, and will abandon their other goals until they've chased down and destroyed Chaotic targets.
They attack Neutral entities if they get too close or get in the way of their goals, but won't chase too far.
Lawful entities are ignored unless they physically attack an Angel.

Secondly, Angels upgrade.
Each Ophanim controls 4 Tacticians.
Each Tactician controls 4 Baselines.
If an angel higher in the hierarchy dies, one of their underlings upgrades at the end of the round to take their place.

Thirdly, Angels don't care about firing into combat.
All angels are immune to Stasis Beam attacks, so they'll try to get the Baselines in to tie up foes, then blast the melee with beam-fire.

Fourthly, Ophanim can use their stasis bubble for offence and defense.
If it calculates that its Choir is unlikely to survive, it can put up its Stasis Shell to prevent further action. Angels can roll through Stasis zones unhindered, so they can roll back into the field until danger has passed.
On the other hand, if it can trap a lone foe inside the field and have the rest of the angels come murder it, so much the better! This is a potentially dangerous tactic since the Ophanim can't defend itself with the field up, but mobbing one poor fool with a bunch of angels is usually a winning technique.

Gods Above

A fun extra thing about Angels is that they have different abilities depending on which God is above that week.
I track this because I have a game calendar (so cool, I know) and each week the God closest to the zenith in the skies above influences the Angels below.

You could always roll a 1d9 if you don't care about calendars.

Name	Angel Mood	Angel Special
Dispater of the Subtle Knife	Elusive	All Angels gain a free move when hit. Baselines equip reach weapons.
Oberon of the Green Branch	Wary	Baselines can use 1d6 ranged bow
Minerva of the Burnished Shield	Defensive	Baselines equip shields
The Scorned of the Rusted Blade	Resolute	Tacticians can command a weapon swap as a free action
The Dead God of the Brittle Bone	Murderous	Mob individuals. 4 in 6 Backstab.
Alaunus of the Mailed Fist	Efficient	Target lowest HP first.
The Lady of the Silver Coin	Fickle	Immune to opportunity attacks, retarget foes every round.
The Allfather of the Filled Cup	Hard-hitting	Baselines deal +1 die size for damage.
Eris of the Spinning Wheel	Hateful	Reverse priorities - kill Lawful first.

God Lore

There are, or were, Nine High Gods orbiting the Earth.
Massive mechanical minds born from aeons-ancient ingenuity, long sent into space to allow them to grow beyond all earthly proportion.
Immortal, impossible space golems, each orbit another turn of the prayer wheel.

If the Gods need to affect the world they send forth their angels.
The Seraphim, huge brass spheres, descend from above and blossom forth, the lower hemisphere opening up into six huge wing-petals covered with eyes.
Each eye is an angel, deployed from the wings according to the unknowable yet fairly obvious tactics of the Gods.

One of the Nine, Eris, was shot down in an earlier age. This has the unfortunate effect of putting angels into their failsafe "scorched earth" mode when they detect no gods overhead.

Some Faiths claim that she lies below Dwimmermount even now. Some call her Queen Satan, others believe her a fallen God unjustly wrenched from the heavens, others still say she never entered heaven at all...

Secret Santicorn 2019: The Breakdown

This post is just a link to DIY & Dragons who has organised aaaaall the Secret Santicorn stuff we did in the Discord at the end of last year!

Secret Santicorn 2019

There's some really great content in there, I think making stuff for other people really makes people put in all the effort!
Big shout out to what is obviously the best one, the one Spwack made for me!


Feels weird to have such a short post with no pictures stolen from a google image search, so please enjoy this sandwich alignment chart.
Bring it out next time you're out with friends or on a date and I guarantee a good quarter hour of conversation.

Santicorn 2019: Tide-Flooded Caverns

Santicorn baby! The second annual Santicore-alike we've organised on the OSR Discord channel!
Everyone requests a thing, we shuffle the requests around, and everyone fulfils one of them as a Christmas Santicorn gift! How wholesome!

I got this one from Wizzzargh:
"Dungeon room fills, be they tricks, traps, treasure, or monsters, for a dungeon regularly flooded by seawater at high tide. Bonus points for fills that require very different approaches at different water levels"

So here goes!

The Tide-Flooded Caverns

The smell of salt and smoke. Rumours of smugglers and sea-witches. Warnings of a rising tide that claims all who enter. Everyone in the village built on the bluffs above knows of the caves, and all are wise enough not to explore them.
At low tide the seawater slides around the cave mouths like a lover's tongue, sloshing over the slick sand and sucking mud and shifting stones of a treacherous beach.

The tide turns and waves of cold scummy seawater gush into the waiting mouths, pouring in through the twisting passages and wider caverns that honeycomb the headland.

Exploring the caves is dangerous, the rising tides changing the nature of the chambers inside, but there are stories of vast treasures and strange creatures within...

How to Use

There are 20 caverns detailed below, each with a description for Low, Mid and High Tide.
There are also 10 treasures to spice up a chamber, or maybe to find if they loot a room.

Finally, 6 random encounters because of course.
Do whatever you feel like with them!

You could roll randomly as PCs travel through the caves (maybe 1d20 for chamber and 1d20 for treasure, where treasure results 11-20 are "nothing extra"), or pre-build the cavern complex.

If you do the latter I suggest room 9 (Gillifier) be placed fairly deep in the caves, since it's a gimmick room that reverses whether you breathe air or water and it might be fun to recontextualise all the other chambers they've been in already.
Room 10 (Lamprey Witch) contains a powerful foe so could be used as a boss room if that's something you like doing.
Room 6 (Cork Golem) would make a good guard fairly close to the entrance, especially since the poor chap becomes a bit useless when the water level rises!

Either way the routes between the chambers are up to you. I envisage twisty slippery seaweedy passages that fill up at high tide.

Tracking the Tide

Time from Low to High tide is apparently 6 hours, which is a lot for your average delve, but whatever. Hopefully they get a bit trapped by the time Mid Tide rolls around and have to make some hard decisions.
I suggest having a row of six boxes like so:

☐ ☐ ☐ ☐ ☐ ☐
  Low  |   Mid  |  High

Use an Overloaded Encounter Die and have result 3 say "Tide rises - Check off a tide box". That should mean you get about one box ticked off per hour.
Result 4 could even be something like "Freak Surge - treat as next Tide in cycle for next 10 minutes" to add some more watery unpredictability!

Drowning

You might have drowning rules already, but if you don't here's how I do it -

If you get a chance to take a deep breath before diving, you can hold your breath for 5 rounds +/- your Constitution modifier.
If you don't get to take a breath first, you have 1d6-1 rounds of air left, also +/- Con Mod
Once you run out of air you take 1d6 damage per round until you can breathe again.

The Chambers

1. Aqua-Pause Pillar

Any Tide:
A chamber with water seemingly frozen in time, forming a bowl-shape around a vibrating glass-and-stone pillar. The pillar is honeycombed with glass panels revealing the glowing bubbling blue liquid within. Smash the pillar and a ripple shudders through the water. Hit hard enough, the vibration stops all the water within a mile in place! It still feels like water, but it doesn't move or ripple or pour. The effect lasts for an hour, after which the water suddenly springs back to where it should have been.

2. Barnacle Spear

Any Tide:On a raised barnacle-encrusted dais in the middle of this frieze-carved chamber is a long tool with a rusty barnacle-scraping edge filed to a point on the end. Water rushes down the holes at the foot of the dais, keeping the water in this chamber knee-high.

The Barnacle Spear counts as an ordinary spear when nowhere near the sea. When it's near the sea it's a spear with powers based on the tide.

Low Tide: Ebb - on hit, get a free move and disengage backwards.

Mid Tide: Splash Zone - on hit, push everyone in front of you 20' away.

High Tide: Surge - On hit, pierce through and hit another target behind the first. This can combo indefinitely until you run out of targets. You can move up to 20' forwards between strikes.

3. Bastard Seagulls

Low Tide: Seagulls fly into this guano-covered chamber through the many small holes in the ceiling. They are fiercely territorial and massive bastards who will flock and kill in a barrage of savage pecks.

Mid Tide: Seagulls float happily on the surface of the chest-high water in this chamber, occasionally flying in and out of the many small holes in the ceiling. They are fiercely territorial and will swarm anyone who enters above the water, but won't attack anyone swimming below.

High Tide: A few seagulls bob on the surface of the neck-high water in this chamber. There's not much room though, so most of them have already flown out to the outside world through the small holes in the ceiling. Anybody with their head above the water will be attacked by the seagulls who paddle over to peck at their face - there's not enough room to swoop.

-

Bastard Seagulls

HD1 AC unarmoured ML9

Attacks: 1d2 Peck or 1d4 flyby swoop attack

Abilities: At will, a seagull can detect the distance and direction of hot potato chips within a half mile radius.

Attitude: Extremely bad-tempered. Swoop if there's room, peck if there isn't, squawk no matter what.

4. Bluebottles

Low Tide:
The slimy, lumpy floor of this chamber is covered with small pale blue pear-shaped balloons and tangles of bright royal blue tendrils. Touching a tendril brings hot red whip-like marks on the flesh and extreme agony. 

Mid Tide:
The waist-high water in this chamber has many small pale blue pear-shaped balloons bobbing about in it. Their bright blue tendrils drift about beneath the water. Wading or swimming through the water inevitably leads to these stinging tendrils drifting into you and bringing up incredibly painful whip-like welts on any body parts which went beneath the water - legs if wading, pretty much all of you if swimming.

High Tide:
Pretty blue strings drift about in the currents of this water-filled chamber, seemingly hanging from the ceiling above. If you swim through this room you are beset by the agonising stings of the tendrils and risk death by drowning.

-

Bluebottles (Hazard)

Effect:

Their tendrils bring great pain through a powerful venom. 

If touched by a tendril (even through cloth), Save vs Stun or keel over prone from the pain - you can Save again each round to recover. You take 1d4 damage each round you have clothing touching the affected body parts for the next 10 minutes. Additionally, for small areas (a hand, a foot), that body part becomes useless for the next hour. For larger areas (torso, multiple limbs), you count as having 1HP for the next hour until the pain fades away.

Main Danger:

Keeling over from the pain on land likely makes you fall onto more of them. Doing it in water risks stinging more and more of you as you stir up the water (and tendrils) in your agony, leading to your inevitable drowning.

5. Chasing Crab

Low Tide:
This crab is big and hungry and now it wants to eat YOU. It scuttles sideways at twice human speed across the wet floor of this chamber, claws bared, ready to PINCH! It will chase you until you either kill it, or get two chambers ahead of it at which point it gives up.

Mid Tide:
This crab is big and hungry and ANNOYING SLOW IN WATER! It scuttles sideways through the waist-high water at human unencumbered speed, claws bared, ready to CLAMP! It will chase you until you either kill it, or get two chambers ahead of it at which point it gives up.

High Tide:
This crab is big and hungry and AGONISINGLY SLOW SUBMERGED. It scuttles sideways under the water at a quarter human speed, claws bared, extremely FRUSTRATED! It will chase you until you either kill it, or get two chambers ahead of it at which point it gives up.

-

Chasing Crab

HD8 AC plate ML10

Attacks: 2 Pincer attacks for 1d10 each. If both hit, dents your armour giving you -1 AC until you get it repaired.

Abilities: Fast on land, slow in water. Max speed on land is twice human. Max speed submerged is quarter human.

Attitude: Chase down victims, but try to keep on land where it's fast!

6. Cork Golem

Low Tide: A huge golem made of cork stomps around this slippery chamber floored with black cave-kelp, guarding the way deeper into the complex.

Mid Tide:
A huge golem made of cork bobs around in the chest-high water in this chamber, flailing around because of how floaty it is. It's slow but powerful. Black cave-kelp waves on the floor.

High Tide:
A chamber filled completely with water, black cave-kelp waves in the water below. A huge golem made of cork is pinned to the ceiling by the water.

-

Cork Golem

HD10 AC leather ML12

Attacks: Powerful punch deals 1d12 damage and blasts victim back and prone - hitting a wall or other creature deals an extra 1d6 damage to both.

Abilities: Floats, immune to fire when wet (always in here), 1 damage per die from bashing attacks.

Attitude: Stomp around, punch people into other people, stomp on people while they're lying on the floor!

7. Dehydrated Ooze

Any Tide:

The passage slopes up to a small cave above the waterline. Inside is a crusty aquamarine bulge with gold coins glimmering under the hardened candy-like shell.

Pour a bunch of water on the lump and it rehydrates into a massive absorbent Aquamarine Goop! Run! Or kill it somehow to claim the treasure...

-

Aquamarine Goop

12HD AC leather ML12

Attacks: 1d8 Dehydrating Slap - On hit, Save vs Doom or lose 1d4 Strength from sudden dehydration!

Abilities: If hit by a water or ice-based attack, gets an immediate free turn. If hit by a fire-based attack, stunned for a round as it loses moisture.

Attitude: Schlorp after the juiciest foe and steal all their juices!

8. Eel Pit

Low Tide: The way out of this chamber is on the other side of a 50' deep pit with a shallow pool of water at the bottom. Electric eels hide at the sandy bottom of the pit, but won't attack when the water is this shallow. How come this pit isn't just a permanent deep pool? - The water in the pit drains away slowly through narrow shafts beneath the sand.

Mid Tide: The way out of this chamber is on the other side of a deep pit with a 20' deep pool of water 30' down. Electric eels hide at the sandy bottom of the pit, and will swarm out at anyone who jumps into the water.

High Tide: The way out of this chamber is on the other side of a 50' deep pool of water. The water is infested with electric eels which will swarm out at anyone who gets into the water.

-

Electric Eel

1HD AC unarmoured ML6

Attacks: 1d4 bite deals double damage vs metal armour - On hit, zap makes target drop whatever they're holding

Abilities: Electric bite

Attitude: Swarm anything that moves, zapping them so they drop their stuff and have to jump in to get it back.

9. Gillifier

Low Tide:
This damp stone chamber smells of salt and earth and wet metal, small fish flop industriously around the room. The walls are lined with nooks that shimmer with layers of with valuable mother-of-pearl, and a squid peers curiously down from one of these nooks. This room reverses whether you breathe air or water for 24 hours. Anyone who spends a minute or so in this room finds it hard to breathe, and soon they discover that they have grown gills and can no longer breathe air! They begin to suffocate immediately.

Mid Tide: This stone chamber with knee-high water smells of salt and earth and wet metal. Small fish float about with their faces on the surface, gulping down air. The walls are lined with nooks that shimmer with layers of with valuable mother-of-pearl. This room reverses whether you breathe air or water for 24 hours. Anyone who spends a minute or so in this room finds it hard to breathe, and soon they discover that they have grown gills and can no longer breathe air! They must go on their hands and knees to dip their newfound gills into the low water, else begin to suffocate.

High Tide: This stone chamber with chest-high water smells of salt and earth and wet metal. Small fish float about with their faces on the surface, gulping down air. The walls are lined with nooks that shimmer with layers of with valuable mother-of-pearl. This room reverses whether you breathe air or water for 24 hours. Anyone who spends a minute or so in this room finds it hard to breathe, and soon they discover that they have grown gills and can no longer breathe air! They begin to suffocate unless they submerge themselves into the water.

10. Lamprey Witch

Low Tide: A smoky chamber with shallow pits filled with water and black oily shapes - lampreys. A smoky blue driftwood fire is in the centre of the chamber, surrounded by stones. Hiding in one of the pits during the low tide is the Lamprey Witch - an emaciated old woman with lampreys latched onto every piece of her. She always seeks more food for her children and will strike from the smoke!

Mid Tide:
A hazy chamber that smells of salt and woodsmoke. Oily black shapes writhe and twist through the knee-high water- lampreys! They wriggle through the water towards you, awful mouths wide! If you turn back you see a horrible writhing figure, a human form with lampreys latched onto every inch - the Lamprey Witch is behind you already!

High Tide: The water surges behind you, barrelling you from the tunnel into this chamber of neck-high water. When you manage to catch a breath the air smells like woodsmoke. Black oily shapes writhe towards you in the water - lampreys! They're all around you, and you hear a choking laugh as a mass of lampreys bursts from the water - a mass of lampreys in human shape - the Lamprey Witch!

- 

Lamprey Witch

HD8 AC chain ML10

Attacks: Lamprey Toss - throw lampreys at a target, 50' range - 1d6 damage and the target gains attached lampreys equal to damage.

Lamprey Surge - AoE lamprey attack - all foes in 20' Save vs Blast or take 1d4 damage and gain attached lampreys equal to damage.

Abilities: Can breathe underwater, never takes damage from lampreys, breeds lampreys rapidly.

Attitude: Wants to find food for her babies! Main technique is to hang back and lob lampreys from afar, then use Lamprey Surge if she starts to get surrounded. Optimally foes will be so busy trying to get the lampreys off themselves that they can't concentrate on her!

Jumping Lamprey

HD0 (1HP) AC unarmoured ML5

Attack: Leaps up to 30' and latches on with its horrifying bloodsucking mouth! Each attached lamprey deals 1 point of damage per round. An attached lamprey can be pulled off as an Action (occupying your hand) or attacked with a weapon. If attacking, roll to hit vs AC 10. On hit, it's dead. On miss, it's dead and you deal weapon damage to the person it was latched onto.

Attitude: Swim or jump in, latch onto flesh, suck the blood!"

11. Octopus in a Hole

Low Tide: A fairly large cavern with slippery kelp floor and a pool of black murky water at the side of the room. A giant octopus lives here, and anyone touching the water will be grabbed by the octopus within and dragged down into its lair below!

Mid Tide: A fairly large cavern filled with sloshing knee-high water. The water gets blacker and murkier towards one side. A giant octopus lives here, flattening itself beneath the water. It will try to grab anybody who separates from the party and drag them to its lair, although its big body will be visible above the water as it does so!

High Tide: A fairly large cavern filled with rolling neck-deep water. The water is murky, but swimmable. A giant octopus lives here, and it will drag anyone it likes beneath the water and drag them to its lair. Anyone who seems hurt or vulnerable is a prime target!

-

Giant Octopus

HD7 AC leather ML7. 

Attacks: On hit, Grapples for 1d6 choking damage per round, preferably dragging into water where you'll drown. Can move while grappling no problem.

Abilities: Ink cloud - Cloud of ink obscures the area. Squeeze - can squeeze through pretty much any crack.

Attitude: Smart but alien ambush predator who wants to pick off one person and devour them. Grabs, drags into water, leaves an ink cloud behind to obscure where it's going.

12. Oysters

Low Tide: 

Shallow, warm, knee-high water in a fairly flat sandy chamber. Huge oysters tower out of the water, tightly shut. Their shells are hard as rocks.

Mid-Tide: 

Tepid chest-high water in a flat, sandy chamber. The lips of huge oysters stick about a foot out of the water. They are slightly open and frilled with strange flesh, but will suck it in and slam shut if disturbed.

High Tide: 

Cool water fills this flat, sandy chamber. Huge oysters lazily open and close under the water. Several of them have valuable pearls within! They snap shut if you touch them and their shells are hard as rocks, so it might take some doing to claim the pearls.

13. Reversible Merman

Low Tide: 

There is a horrifying creature in this damp chamber. Human legs from the waist down and a monstrous anglerfish head and body where the torso should be! It runs, warbling, seeking to rip gobbets of warm flesh from live prey.

Mid Tide: 

A handsome merman swims below the surface of the waist-high water in this chamber. He mimes a warning not to get too close. If you approach, he emerges from the water and shifts into a horrifying creature with human legs and an angelerfish top half which seeks to devour you!

High Tide: 

A handsome merman swims below the surface of the water that fills this chamber. He's quite pleasant if you can find a way to speak to him, but he has a horrible curse that turns him into a monster if he ever comes above water.

-

Merman: Horror Form

HD9 AC leather ML12

Attacks: 1d10 monstrous bite or 1d6 Anglerfish electric lamp-slap targets all in front of him.

Abilities: Horrifyingly fast. Changes back into a merman if completely submerged in water.

Attitude: Chase down and FEAST. Big bite on lone targets, lamp-slap on two or more in melee.

Merman: Handsome Form

HD9 AC leather ML6

Attacks: None. Unarmed attack at best.

Abilities: Fast in water. Changes into Horror Form if any part of him touches air.

Attitude: Prevent himself from going above water and becoming the Horror!

14. Safe Cave

Low Tide: An easy climb upwards towards a flat sandy cave. Small crabs scatter as you approach.

Mid Tide: Splash through knee-high water towards an easy climb upwards towards a flat sandy cave. Small crabs flee to plop into the water below as you approach.

High Tide: Though it seems to be filled with water, swim through and upwards from the entrance and you'll find yourself in an air pocket with a flat, dry sandy cave to rest in. Little crabs live here, and flee if you approach!

15. Sea Anemones

Low Tide:
Thin downward-sloping chamber scattered with closed-up wrinkled lumps the size of beach balls. Knee-high water at the lower end.

Mid Tide:
Thin downward-sloping chamber with colourful tendrils waving beneath the water that comes halfway up the chamber. Travel through the lower waterlogged half of the chamber and you'll be attacked by the giant sea anemones!

High Tide:
Thin downward-sloping chamber filled with water. Colourful tendrils wave beneath the surface. Swim through here and you'll be attacked by the giant sea anemones!"

-

Giant Sea Anemone

3HD AC plate (closed) or leather (opened) ML12

Attacks: Grapples with its sticky tendrils - on success deals 2d6 damage and paralyzes for 10 minutes if you fail a Save vs Stun.

Abilities: Closes up outside of water, gaining armour but becoming useless. If killed in its closed state, gets one last attack as its tendrils burst out and flail around.

Attitude: Just wait around for something to come close, then sting the fuck out of them. Especially hates people who can't say "anemone" - an em oh nee.

16. Smuggler's Elevator

Low Tide:
A steep high chamber that rises diagonally from the entrance below to another entrance above. Five rough-looking men loading crates onto a large sodden wooden platform resting on the floor of the chamber, connected by a damp rope to a trapdoor on the ceiling. Two more men shout encouragement and crude insults from above. The water is ankle-height. The trapdoor is a secret entrance to a hidden basement under the smuggler's fish-smoking hut above. The crates contain valuable contraband.

Mid Tide:
A steep, high chamber with neck-high water that rises diagonally from the entrance below to another entrance above. Faint voices can be heard. There is a large wooden platform stacked with crates floating in the neck-high water, connected by a rope to an open trapdoor on the ceiling. The trapdoor is a secret entrance to a hidden basement under the smuggler's fish-smoking hut above, where seven smugglers toast to their recent haul.

High Tide:
A steep, high, water-filled chamber that rises diagonally from the entrance below to another entrance above. Voices can be heard chatting amongst the echoing sounds of wood being moved. Two rough-looking men on a large floating wooden platform pass crates up through a trapdoor to their five smuggler friends above.

-

Smugglers

1HD AC unarmoured ML5

Attacks: Knives and long hooked poles

Attitude: Defend selves foremost, extort tribute from weaker groups if possible, pay stronger groups for their silence.

17. Toxic Scum

Low Tide: A virulent green scum coats the damp floor of this chamber. Touching it with bare flesh means your flesh starts to melt away! Each round you're touching it, Save vs Doom or take 1d4 Con damage.

Mid Tide: A virulent green scum floats on the waist-high water in this chamber. Touching it with bare flesh means your flesh starts to melt away! Each round you're touching it, Save vs Doom or take 1d4 Con damage.

High Tide: A virulent green scum coats the ceiling of this water-filled chamber. Touching it with bare flesh means your flesh starts to melt away! Each round you're touching it, Save vs Doom or take 1d4 Con damage.

18. Trapdoor Crabs

Low Tide: 

A large sandy cavern with obvious circular sandy manhole-sized discs scattered around the place. Trapdoor Crabs hide beneath, and if you get close they burst from their trapdoors and try to drag you into their burrows!

Mid Tide: 

A large, sandy cavern with knee-high water. Trapdoor crabs hide under their trapdoors beneath the sand, and will burst out to drag you into their burrows if you get close!

High Tide: 

A large, sandy cavern with chest-high water. Trapdoor crabs hide under their trapdoors beneath the sand, but won't attack unless you really fuck with them.

-

Trapdoor Crab

HD4 AC chain ML7

Attacks: 2 Pincer attacks for 1d6 each. If both hit, drags you wherever it wants.

Abilities: Trapdoor - gets a surprise round when it bursts out of its trapdoor

Attitude: Burst out, grab a victim, and drag them into the burrow where it can't fight back easily in the confined space.

19. Vertical Chamber

Low Tide: 

The tunnel dips down into the bottom of a tall, narrow chamber with thigh-height water and a ledge high above. Mussels and hanging strands of seaweed dangle from the walls.

Mid Tide: 

A waterlogged tunnel dips down into the bottom of a tall, narrow chamber. Dive in and you can get into the air pocket inside the chamber. A ledge is within reach above. Mussels and hanging strands of seaweed wave in the water, attached to the walls.

High Tide: 

A waterlogged tunnel dips down into a tall, narrow chamber filled with water. Dive in and you can get to the small air pocket and ledge at the top of the chamber. Mussels and hanging strands of seaweed wave in the water, attached to the walls.

20. Whirlpool

Low Tide:A low chamber with a hole in the middle of it. Water slowly rises out of the hole until it reaches ankle height, then gets sucked back down the hole. This repeats every few minutes.

Mid Tide:
A low chamber with waist-high water getting sucked towards a whirlpool in the middle of the chamber. Get close and Save vs Stun or be drawn down the funnel and stuck where the hole narrows.

High Tide: A low chamber with shoulder-height water surging towards a whirlpool in the middle of the chamber. Entering the chamber risks getting sucked in - Save vs Stun or be drawn down the funnel and stuck where the hole narrows. 

Random Encounters

Roll 1d6

1. 2d4 Smugglers
2. Giant Coneshell
3. 2d6 Bastard Seagulls
4. 1d6 Kleptomorphic Nudibranchs
5. 1d6 Stoneshell Crabs
6. 1d20 Jumping Lampreys

1. Smugglers

1HD AC unarmoured ML5

Attacks: Knives and long hooked poles

Attitude: Low or Mid Tide - Follow quietly until the party is in trouble, then extort or kill them. High Tide - they've been caught out in the todal surge and will work with anyone if they can escape!

2. Giant Coneshell

HD6 AC plate ML9

Attacks: Neurotoxin Harpoon - Reach weapon deals 1d6 damage and Save vs Stun or fall unconscious for 10 minutes.

Gulp - Swallow a victim whole, dealing 1d10 damage per round as they're smothered.

Abilities: Insulin Cloud - Once per day while in water, ejects weaponised insulin into the surrounding water. Anyone in the cloud must Save vs Stun every round or lose their turn. Water-breathing creatures get no save.

Attitude: A chest-high conical shell containing an ambush predator mollusk. Waits in ambush then harpoons a victim in the ankle and engulfs them. Much more dangerous in water since its weaponised insulin cloud can prevent others fighting back. Not fast, but good at burrowing into sand and gravel.

3. Bastard Seagulls

HD1 AC unarmoured ML9

Attacks: 1d2 Peck or 1d4 flyby swoop attack

Abilities: At will, a seagull can detect the distance and direction of hot potato chips within a half mile radius.

Attitude: Extremely bad-tempered. Swoop if there's room, peck if there isn't, squawk no matter what.

4. Kleptomorphic Nudibranch

HD1 AC leather ML5

Attacks: Whatever their target is using!

Abilities: Morph Mucus - At will, exudes a massive amount of mucus in the form a nearby creature and pilots it from inside the chest! It has all the physical attacks of the target, but none of the magic or armour etc. The mimic has 1 HP for every HD of the target, and when it is destroyed the whole thing sucks back into the nudibranch's mouth ready to be re-exuded on their next turn.

Attitude: Create mucus mimic of whatever looks most threatening, recreate the mimic any time it's destroyed to defend core body.

5. Stoneshell Crab

HD2 AC plate ML5

Attacks: 1d6 pincer - On hit, grapples.

Attitude: Grapple foes and pinch them to death! Their stone shell gives them powerful armour, but once one is killed their crappy morale will send them packing.

6. Jumping Lamprey
HD0 (1HP) AC unarmoured ML5
Attack: Leaps up to 30' and latches on with its horrifying bloodsucking mouth! Each attached lamprey deals 1 point of damage per round. An attached lamprey can be pulled off as an Action (occupying your hand) or attacked with a weapon. If attacking, roll to hit vs AC 10. On hit, it's dead. On miss, it's dead and you deal weapon damage to the person it was latched onto.
Attitude: Swim or jump in, latch onto flesh, suck the blood!

Treasures

Roll 1d10:

1. A silver locket with a severe woman's face in profile
2. A tarnished silver crown, studded with black gems
3. Golden sand dollars
4. Hyper-umami kelp, valuable to specialist chefs
5. Long boxes containing strange ornamental harpoons carved with grotesque frogs
6. Proper pirate treasure chest
7. A set of fishbone cutlery
8. An iron-bound narwhal horn
9. A cask of well-aged rum
10. An overstuffed walrus taxidermy sealed in a glass box.

Happy Santicore, Wizzzargh!