Sunday 6 October 2024

Speech Impediments - For When PCs Remember a Language They've Never Spoken

We've all been there.

The party is confronted with an otherworldly horror uttering guttural chants, or behold a mysterious elven monolith covered in curling runes that twist before their eyes, or stand enraptured before the song of an ancient angel from a forgotten heaven, or receive an email from the marketing department.

Then one of your players hits you with the "oh wait that's one of my languages!" and you have to let them speak to whatever it is.

In regular D&D where you pick Languages during char gen, this happens when it turns out someone has been able to speak Gnomish or Celestial the whole time.

In my game this happens because my players insist on rolling Languages any time they come across a new creature that shows even the tiniest glimmer of sentience. This is why several characters apparently speak fluent Eastern Lowland Gorillese.
This is really very silly but it's fun enough to keep (a la the secret fourth option in this post).

What's the "solution" to this "problem"?
They obviously know the language, but given the fact that they've never even mentioned that they can speak it in months of adventuring it must have been quite a while since they did that exchange trip to the eighth circle of hell.
But they're totally fluent of course, but uhhh... how do you say...


I'm a Bit Rusty

The first time your character speaks a language that they haven't previously spoken in-game, they're rusty.

Roll 1d30:

RollResult
1Can only speak in single syllables
2Tourist phrasebook content only - "two beers please", "which way to museum?" etc.
3They understand you but are always offended.
4Words that start with a vowel only.
5One word sentences only.
6Absolutely always alliterate.
7Words that start with a plosive only
8Must "speak" by describing emojis.
9Swear words only.
10Must speak way too loudly.
11Can only speak in quotations and metaphor.
12Sentences must be spoken in reverse order
13"Snake Snanguage" - all words start with the first two sounds of that language.
14Unable to use pronouns (I/you/he/her/it/etc)
15Unable to speak in present tense
16No verbs
17Speak in Haiku
18Can only write it, not speak it.
19Only know numbers
20"G" and "J" must be pronounced with a soft "zh" sound, as in treasure or casual
21No nouns
22Last letter of one word must begin the next word.
23One must refer to oneself as one, and instead of "we" or "they" must state the number of people in the group (eg. "One was with Four when someone robbed Two house")
24No adjectives
25All phrases must be an innuendo, if you know what I mean
26All sentences must be noun-verb-object
27Must stand on one leg while speaking
28Overly formal, everyone must have a title, no contractions, etc etc
29Every noun must be described by an incongruous and/or false adjective.
30Can speak the language but only in a cartoonish over the top accent.

When you speak that language you must abide by the rolled limitation.
This represents your character pausing to think, forgetting words, getting tones wrong, using the wrong conjugations, and other such issues with dredging up the language you haven't used in a long time.
Failing to do so means you've said complete gobbledegook and nobody understands what you just said.

In subsequent sessions it's all come back to you and you are completely fluent.
Presumably you quickly brushed up on some refresher notes, or beseeched the Horrible Green Owl to reinstate your streak.

Specialists, of course, are always fluent from the get-go. Skills are their whole deal after all.







Wednesday 28 August 2024

Investments and Business Ventures: Yahtzee Edition!

You've been adventuring for months. You're on that sigma grindset. You want to make your money work for you.

Wine, women and song? Loser talk! 
Real winners have a system that works for them. It's not gambling, it's entrepreneurship!
The only way to lose is not to play!




Get in on the ground floor!

State your business, declare your stake, and choose your investment risk.

Stable: 1d6
Risky: 2d6
Wild: 5d6

At the start of every session you are at the table, roll your dice.
Odds decrease, evens increase. Sum them up and your stake changes by the percentage.

Example:
I have a stake in a Risky business. I roll a 3 and a 6. My stake increases by (-3+6) = 3%.



Market Forces!

Take a risk and reap the rewards! 
You're not a gambler! You're a market enabler! You're a job creator!


Doubles:
Roll doubles to gain a special extra effect. Obviously this is only possible at Risky or Wild levels!

1s: Bankrupt! Get ready to cast Sorrowful Zoom Call. Your business has been wound up as a going concern. Sackville-Baggins & Associates is ripping the copper wire out of the walls as we speak. Return to the business location within a reasonable timeframe and you can get half your stake back from the liquidation.
2s: Franchised! There's a branch or outpost of your business in the local area! If not right here then in a conveniently nearby town of your choice! Next time you may reroll one die.
3s: Financial Turbulence: The financial gods declare you to be more risky than hoped. Next time you roll at +1 risk level. If already at Wild, roll an extra d6.
4s: Surprise Merger! Your business and another player at the table's business have merged against the advice of the CMA! Each business affects the other, so if you're not there you get the result of their roll. If you're both at the table, decide whether you roll separately (affecting each other) or together (at a risk level you decide). PLUS your next roll has "roll 1 extra, drop 1".
5s: Local Disruption: -10% value you say? At least, you say?? The DM places a nominally single-session dungeon nearby (monster lair, 5 room dungeon, etc) which has caused this terrible turn of events. Clear the dungeon within a reasonable timeframe and you get to make it up with an extra business roll at the end of the session.
6s: Huge Profits! To the moon baby! Infinite profit is possible in a finite system! Your stake gains an additional +1d100% value!




Yahtzee(tm) Dice(tm)

This isn't a mere startup, it's a moonshot! Your employees are NPCs and those 20 hour days are the price of success! Let's go CEO! Let's become a centicorn!

Yahtzee Hands:
Roll yahtzee dice sets to get extra special extra effects. Yahtzee hands are only possible at Wild level, but you already knew that because you are a seasoned investor!

None: 
Chance. All dice and doubles apply as normal.

3 of a Kind: 
Critical Hit! Double your percentage gain/loss. Double effect is doubled too (ie. bankruptcy grants quarter value on return, huge profits return 1d200% value, etc)

4 of a Kind: 
Brand Power! Everyone in the local area knows the business by name. There’s a significant amount of merch and you’re basically a living colonel sanders. Your business roll adds a permanent additional 6.

Full House: 
Blessed by the Invisible Hand! You got a triple AND a double! Choose to ignore or double the effects of each dice set.

Small Straight (4 in a row): 
Capitalist Questing Beast. The DM places a monster out there which will give you a permanent additional 6 if you kill it. Go forth!

Large Straight (5 in a row): 
Anointed by the Invisible Hand! Every time you roll for your business, roll twice and choose the roll you want.

Yahtzee (5 of a Kind): 
Global Domination! 10x value! There is a branch of the business in every large town you come across! Bankruptcy is now impossible - treat a Bankrupt result as +0% value.




PS. Imagine updating your investment rules and realising that they were last created a decade ago.

Wednesday 7 August 2024

Some Monsters

It might sound like heresy to the old school crowd, but one thing I like about the 5e Monster Manual is how they give every enemy some sort of gimmick.
Read through the Labyrinth Lord/OSE/S&W/etc Monster Manuals and you'll get a lot of generic stat blocks of predictable HD/AC/ML and the sort of generic claw/claw/bite or weapon attacks you could have made up yourself. This results in the evergreen tip of Just Use Bears.

Meanwhile 5e will at least give a generic Goblin the ability to run and hide as a bonus action.
Basically if you've run enough D&D and you're running an OSR module with not much prep time, give the 5e MM listing a quick glance to see if there's anything interesting the monster could be doing beyond 3 attacks at 1d6/1d6/1d8.

The other thing about running anything is that you've got about a hundred different things zooming through your head at a time, so if there's an ability it should be pretty easy to remember and simple to adjudicate, and if there's some sort of contextual trigger you should probably just tell the players as soon as seems reasonable (that way it's in their head instead) and/or tie it to something obvious like death throes or odd/even damage rolls.
You can also have a Recharge mechanic like 4e monsters - special abilities are recharged (and usually immediately used) on a d6 roll.




So in that vein here are some normal monsters.

Black Pudding
HD10 AC13 ML12
Menacing pile of jet black ooze that dissolves pretty much anything that's not stone.
Fears fire, but not light. Immune to acid, poison and cold.
When hit by a stabby or choppy weapon, splits into two smaller oozes with half the HP which each have the same attack.
Hits for 2d10 damage. Hits deal a Notch to armour. Weapons that touch it are also Notched.
Slow but can squeeze through very small gaps no worries. A terror.

Carrion Crawler
HD3 AC12 ML5
Squirming maggoty corpse eaters with a full 8 attacks from their 8 flailing stingers. 
Each hit deals a Pain Poison but no damage. 
Bites for a mere 1d4, but that's cold comfort when you and your friends are paralyzed.

Deep Ones
HD2 AC14 ML9
4-eyed frog monsters.
2 claws for 1d6 each + paralyzing bite for 1d6: as much Pain Poison on failed Save vs Doom.
Long ranged hand-tongue attack - on hit they suck you towards them (for small things) or them to you (for brutal leap). Successful tongue attack means they get a free bite or wrestle at +4 to hit.

Deep One "Mermaid"
HD4 AC14 ML9
2 claw attacks for 1d6 + magic pheremones charm all who scent them. 
She looks like the woman of your dreams. If you're not into women you get a +4 bonus to the Save vs Doom or be Charmed and do whatever she wants - usually get implanted with frogspawn.
1d4 hours gestation time (Roll 1d4 every hour - on a 4 it's time). Save vs Doom or rupture as the eggs erupt from your throat.
Eggs swell into Sea Salties after 24 hours immersed in water. A Sea Saltie that sinks to a great pressure will hatch into a male Deep One. A Sea Saltie that's swallowed replaces your tongue with a baby female Mermaid that will grow and slip out of your mouth into fresh water in a few weeks.
Swallowing a Sea Saltie gives you an hour of water breathing and pressure resistance from the unnatural mutagens. Further sea salties don't breed more mermaids though!

Dwimmerdragon
HD9 AC16 ML9
Wingless dragon-ish creatures made of Azoth-enriched stone, siblings to the Dwarves and originally designed as protectors of the Dwimmermount mines.
Alas, they cannot leave the Azoth area without falling ill and slowly turning back to stone.
They make Stone Sons of themselves, original masters of the technique.
They are chatty and vain, prone to flattery.
They are covered in pearls and gems, a side effect of the stone son procedure, worth 1d10*1000 obols.
Roll 1d6 for their attack each round:
1-2: 1d6/1d6/3d10 claw/claw/bite 
3-4: Garlicy sulphur-breath deals their HP in a cloud and turns extremities of non-stone creatures to dirt.
5: Roll two spells and cast one of them as a L9 Wizard.
6: Sink into stone and regenerate 1d10 HP.

Gargoyle
HD4 AC14/20 ML7
Weeping Angel style menaces. While in line of sight they are statues - AC20, take 1 damage from non-magical. 
When not seen they are blindingly fast dusky blue winged creatures that leap and strike with a claw/claw/horn for 1d6 each.
Smashing a gargoyle turns the area pitch black - as Darkness 15' Radius.

Gelatinous Cube
HD4 AC12 ML12
Practically invisible. 
Pseudopod attack on all in melee range for 1d6. 
Envelops stunned people for 1d8 damage/round. Wrestle at +8 to escape.
When damaged Save vs Stun or get as much Pain Poison

Giant Boring Beetle
HD4 AC14 ML6
Huge beetles with big mandibles. Bite 5d4. Drones on and on.
All Boring Beetles are linked in a giant hivemind. They act as one and all roll the same die - it applies to all attacking beetles.
If you are bitten by a Boring Beetle you are infected with their Boring Hive Mind and get the same roll as the beetles. This lasts until a Boring Beetle rolls under your Wisdom Score with an attack.

Giant Stag Beetle
HD5 AC16 ML6
Surprisingly stealthy. Giant stag beetle loves to grab and pinch and crush!
Two attacks. On hit, 1d8 damage and Wrestle at +10. Deals 1d20 damage in a Wrestle.
Can move around normally while Wrestling, hoping to drag prey into a dark corner.

Giant Tick
HD2 AC14 ML8
Huge arm-length ticks that crawl up you and stick their whole head in your body to feed on your blood.
Horribly fast. 
Drain 1d6 HP and 1 Constitution from their victim per round. Drop off if burned, submerged, or killed.
Victims Save vs Doom after combat or contract the tick's paralysing disease - every day Save vs Doom or lose 1 point of Strength. Pass 2 days in a row to recover.

Green Slime
Drops on living things to turn them into more of it. Awareness check to avoid as it falls.
Deals 1d6 Constitution damage/rd (Save vs Doom for half) until scraped, burnt or frozen off.
Burning always works (and deals 1d6 damage to the recipient), the slime leaps away from the open flame.
Scraping deals 1d6 damage and the recipient gets a Save vs Doom to make the green slime get gone.
Destroyed by fire and sunlight.

Hell Hound
HD4 AC12 ML12
Stitched-together corpse frankensteins made from dogs.
Bite for 1d10. 
Breathes flies and glowing green poisonous vomit in a cone for 1d8 damage + Notch armour and weapons. Recharges on a 1-2.
Can detect invisible with exceptional hearing and smell.

Horrible Unicorn Persons
HD6 AC15 ML8
Astonishingly fast (hence AC) and pale white. An attempt to make a perfect being that went horribly wrong. Won't attack virgins unless attacked first. Androgynous, nude, no genitals.
Double damage horn ram on charge, attack at +8 and wield great weapons that lend them +2 damage from strength. 2 attacks - 1 gore with horn for 1d8, 1 weapon attack usually a greataxe for 1d10+2. Punch for 1d6 in a pinch.

Phase Spider
HD5 AC14 ML8
Spiders whose webbing phases into the Ghost Dimension. 
While on the webs, these spiders can phase in and out at will. Off the webs, it takes a Move.
Bite deals 1d6 damage and as much Pain Poison on a failed Save vs Doom. The venom phases you into the Ghost Dimension while it's in your system. Good luck!

Roper
HD10 AC16 ML8
Classic stalagmite monster.
50' reach with its 1d8 damage tentacles.
On hit, grabs you by the leg and pulls you through the air towards its maw. You've got two tries to escape the Wrestle, else 1d20 damage per chomp.

Rust Monster
HD5 AC12 ML6
Strange cockroach-like beasts with whipping antennae, rust monsters rust metal and eat the rust. Dreaded by all.
2 tentacle whip attacks deals 1d4 Notches to metal armour on hit.
Hitting it deals 1d4 Notches to metal weapons.
If it crumbles a weapon or armour to rust it'll spend a round eating it up, very cute.

Shambling Mound
HD10 AC18 ML12
A mass of moist vegetation around a supremely hard to hurt (thus AC 18) moist wet core.
Two clubbing limb attacks for 1d8 each. If both hit, auto-grapples and engulfs, suffocating you and dealing 2d8 damage per round.
Lightning attacks heal it for traditional reasons. Vegetation is too moist to burn so takes only 1 damage per die from fire attacks. 1 damage from Smashy or Stabby weapons.

Wight
HD4 AC12 ML12
Humanoid shapes full of shadow and burning black fire.
Immune to mundane.
Armour piercing 1d4 ghostly chilling touch + Save vs Doom or Level drain (down to just under level up). Inform the players of this as soon as they see the Wight and see how they react!
Anyone drained by a Wight becomes a 2HD Wight under its control, their soul dragged from their body by a spectral claw and turned to burning darkness.

Ravenous Zombie
HD3, AC14, ML12.
A zombie that ate a brain and became fast and intelligent. Glowing red eyes give them away. 
Vicious and can speak, mostly to mock and coordinate. 
2 claw attacks for 1d6 each. 
Always burst down the person with the most Bleed dice, or otherwise least HP. 
Ravenous Mode lasts 10 minutes, so usually walk around like a regular zombie until they spot prey.

Zombie
HD1, AC13, ML 12.
1d6 claw. Double HP. Slow as hell - they have a special third initiative behind everyone else.
If they eat an intelligent creature's brain - become a Ravenous Zombie.
Horde: +1 Backstab per zombie in melee range of their target.



Friday 21 July 2023

Bad Weather after Judgment Day

The world has ended and the weather is fucking terrible.
Oh it's not as bad as a decade ago, when the poison storm of a Gas Front would sweep through and turn your body into even more poison, but you still don't want to be caught out in this new weather. It sucks.

These are 6D weather tables a la WWCD.
Roll a d6 and move the weather in that direction. If it would go back, go forward.
If you reach the edge, stop if you hit an X. Otherwise reverse course.

Weather can have Outfield effects (ie. what happens during each 4 hour Watch of travel) and/or Encounter effects that kick in during smaller timescale activities like chats or fights.

And so -

There's very little white Clear weather in the Spring, so you're usually looking at green Haze or purple Rain with a chance of intermittent brown Sporestorms.

Spring

Clear: Rare but occasionally occurs after the rains. Clear skies and clear sinuses. A mercy.
Outfield: Travel +1 Hex and remove any Exhaustion.

Hayfever Haze: Sneezing and coughing and trying not to rub your tired red eyes because the pollen is everywhere. Nevertheless this is generally the best you've got for travelling weather.
Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion

Metamorphic Rain: Like a nice warm shower which is lovely until you see what it's doing to your skin and your clothes. Absolutely do not get it in your eyes. Whorls in your flesh where the droplets pulled your skin with them, your axe-haft is growing leaves, your axe-head is looking at you.
Outfield: Exposed equipment gains a Notch.

Spore Storm: Fat chunks of fungal matter bloom across the landscape, soon bursting to release a choking fog thick with spores. You can barely see through the smog, but that's ok because the hallucinogenic visions are really starting to kick in.
Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion and Save vs Doom to avoid taking 1 Wisdom damage.
Encounter: Slowed, and crit/fumble range increased by +4.

Thorn Warning: The air fizzes with static and the sky is covered with a low ceiling of unbroken cloud. The Growth is coming. Animals flee only to be snatched into the sky by the thing (things?) that live up there.
Encounter: Within a few minutes of killing something it's lifted into the clouds by sticky threads. If you stop to loot or butcher a corpse, 1d10 Cloudfinger tendrils soon follow.

The Growth: Feel the soil, feel the loam, let yourself go to heal the world with the blood that is turning to sap inside your veins. Kneel down and kiss the Earth and take it into you. Heal the world with your soft embrace.
Outfield: Take 1 Constitution damage per Watch as your body converts to plant life.
Goblins are not immune, but they become big mushrooms instead and retain their consciousness within the fungal mycelia.

Real life example! The weather was Clear then went through the Warning and a brief Summer Storm. Luckily for them, they were in a dungeon when The Hive occurred.
Summer has plenty of white Clear hexes, which leads to cloudless summer skies which can last for days at a time..


Summer

Clear: Warm and bright, silver clouds covering the worst of the sun. In the summer these warm days can stretch for weeks.
Outfield: Travel +1 Hex and remove any Exhaustion

Insect Heat: Hot days buzzing with lazy insects and bumbling bees. Comfortable long days of sunshine and joy and strolling by the hedgerows and falling asleep only to find that you've got a whole day left. Too hot for heavy armour though, I'll tell you that much.
Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion if wearing Heavy gear.
Encounter: Clouds of biting flies are attracted to any bloodshed. Dead creatures attract a cloud of flies that Slows anybody nearby. Take Bleed damage even if you Stay Down.

Summer Storm: After the sticky days, a smell of petrichor followed by the lashing rain. Cool and fresh and so very beloved by plants, you could swear that the grass is growing high and lush before your very eyes.
Outfield: Half Overland speed.
Encounter: Ranged attacks at -4

Heatwave: Absolutely stinking hot. Too hot to think, practically too hot to breathe. A real bastard of a day, but the bugs don't seem to mind.
Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion, 2 if wearing Heavy gear.
Encounter: Anyone in Medium or Heavy gear is Slowed.

Swarm Warning: Wispy cirrus clouds high overhead and a subtle crackle as metal zaps against metal. Flying insects fizz and pop, flash-fried by the electricity that makes your hair stand on end, only to be devoured by the smarter kind of beetle who knows to stay in contact with the ground.
Encounter: Hitting metal with metal causes a spasm of static, making the victim(s) Dazed for a round and making them drop held objects.

The Hive: They're inside you you can see them under the skin crawling inside you where did they come from why are your pores getting larger and larger and the glimmer inside is shiny and they're all so shiny and crawling and scuttling and they are nice they are friends they are part of you this is how it should be
Outfield: Take 1 Strength damage per Watch as your flesh becomes home to thousands of insects.
Goblins become hollowed out with seeds, and beloved by pollinating birds.

Autumn is very changeable and very rarely Clear, but at least the red doom weather is always preceded by a Warning, and so often swings away.

Autumn

Special: In Autumn the weather brings abundant Forage, trivially gathered. Every traveller gets one ration of the appropriate Forage per Watch if they want it, and falls deeper into the dreary malaise of Autumn if they eat it.


Clear: Damp moist air and clear bright skies. Rare but beloved. A welcome but short-lived respite.
Outfield: Travel +1 Hex and remove any Exhaustion

Melancholy Mists: You sigh and you yearn for purpose. There are better things beyond the mists. Lives lived with meaning. Unlike yours. Your goals and dreams are a bit silly really, not the sort of things that other people would care about. Still, travelling weather if you care to try.
Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion.
Forage: Fat berries grow on the thorny bushes, eating them sustains you but makes you lose yourself in painful memories. Eating them deals 1 Cha damage.

Forgetful Rain:  A sustained drizzle that falls with a white noise susurration that makes your mind wander. At least the rain-fruits are out, withered but tasty, and they make you think about other things.
Outfield: Double chance of getting lost and/or crashing your vehicle.
Encounter: Ranged attacks at -4. Those in the rain are Slowed.
Forage: Trees bear withered fruits, which fill your belly and fill your mind with fog. Eating them deals 1 Int damage.

Unmaking Rain: Proper rain, this. Sheeting down with a wild wind that tears at clothes and hair and rips the seams and unties the bindings and shivers the nails out of the shingles. Get caught out in this and you'll get home naked, your clothes in rags.
Outfield: Half overland speed. Exposed equipment gains 1 Notch.

Tired Warning: The sort of sustained drizzle that doesn't get you wet but somehow soaks through your clothes. The grey sky overhead flickers with cloud lightning, the low rumbling warning of what's to come.
Encounter: All creatures are Slowed.
Forage: Tubers and ground fruit swell from the soil, which fill you up yet leave you hollow. Eating them deals 1 Wis damage.

The Soft: The clouds are soft and inviting. Childhood home. A parent's arms. Skin like crepe paper. Older better times. Crinkling fingers. Times before. No worries at all. You wobble. Bones like cartilage. A soft fall. So much to be done. What were you doing? Oh yes, that.
Outfield: Take 1 Dexterity damage per Watch as your body becomes unmoored from your mind. Eventually your body moves on its own, your skin feels soft and crinkles like paper, your joints bend strangely around your rubbery bones. You will spend the Autumn tending the plants in calm harmony, until your body softly shuffs to the floor, a bag of loam. Goblins instead merge onto the side of a tree, and tend the area with tentacle-vines with goblin minds.


Winter has snowfall broken up by Mushroom Slush or Clear days.
It's very possible to get caught in an interminable Blizzard at the bottom of the table though.


Winter

Special: Snow builds up over time, so several types of weather only affect you if the previous weather was marked as Snow.
You also need Cold Weather Gear, which counts as an Oversized item and can be broken like a splintered shield to cancel damage from one attack. If you don't have it, take the Frostbite effect.


Clear: Bright and cold, the air cool in your lungs without stealing your breath. Clean and fresh and sparkling, you can see for miles.
Outfield: Travel +1 Hex and remove any Exhaustion

Snowfall: Long nights leading to little days of calm white snowdrifts. By the time you leave your house it's starting to get dark, snowflakes following behind to fill your footsteps.
Snow.
Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion if the last weather was Snow.
Frostbite: Take 1 Dex damage.

Mushroom Slush: Sleet that melts the snow to black ice and cakes you with a thin layer of slush, not soaking in so much as piling on, making you feel shivery and clammy at once. Worse, the fungus. A hardy strain of swift-growing mycelium lives under the warm snowy blanket. Exposed by the sleet, it will try to evade the slush by climbing the closest tall warm thing and making a home there, filling pockets and bags with uninvited slime.
Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion if the last weather was Snow. Gain an Oversized item called "Slush Fungus" - getting rid of it requires a wash in warm water or chucking affected gear out into Snow to kill the slime.
Frostbite: Take 1 Dex damage.

Blizzard: Complete whiteout. A death sentence to travel through.
Snow.
Outfield: Gain 2 Exhaustion if you're not resting in Comfortable conditions. Food cannot heal you or remove Exhaustion during the Blizzard.
Encounter: Slowed. Ranged attacks at -8.
Frostbite: Take 1 Dex damage and Save vs Doom or freeze to death.

Thundersnow: Hail and snow, flickering with flashbulb lightning. The dense white blanket surrounds you and gently softens the faint sounds of thunder.
Snow.
Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion if the last weather was Snow.
Encounter: Hitting metal on metal causes a lightning strike! Victim(s) must Save vs Blast or be blasted back and take 1d6 lightning damage.
Frostbite: Take 1 Dex damage.

Mirror-Vine Sunshine: The winter snow tamps down the growth waves and the warnings, allowing the most tenacious mutant plants to shoot up over the winter. Foremost of these are the Mirror Vines which emerge from the snow covered in their searingly bright silver-leaved new growth, reflecting extra light onto their leaves while they've got the chance.
Outfield: Double chance of getting lost/crashing in daylight.
Encounter: Increase fumble range by +2.
Frostbite: Take 1 Dex damage.





Mechanics


How to use:
At noon and midnight, roll 1d6 and move the weather in that direction. If it would go backwards, go forwards instead.
If you're at the edge, stop if you hit an X. Otherwise reverse course.

Simple right?

If you've got a Ranger equivalent, let them roll weather in advance so they can be all "hmm the rain will turn to fog by midday". In my game this can be a group Bushcraft roll.

The main penalty for walking around in the nasty weather is Exhaustion.
Each point of Exhaustion gives you -1 AC and +1 Encumbrance, but you can get rid of it all by having a break with food. An army marches on its stomach after all!

Sometimes the weather rots your gear, giving a Notch.
A Notch decreases a weapon's damage die, or reduces AC by 1. This generally only affects armour when hiking around because I assume weapons are sheathed.
Notching other gear is on a case by case basis but I assume that most stuff is in a bag if you're not using it.

Weather effects are on this spreadsheet too -
Post-Apoc Weather


Daylight:

One last thing - daylight is based on season, which is another reason why winter travel is grueling.

A day is 6 Watches long, with each Watch being 4 hours.
In Spring and Autumn there are 3 Watches of Day, 3 of Night.
In Summer there are 4 Watches of Day, 2 of Night.
In Winter there are only 2 Watches of Day, 4 of Night.

I absolutely cannot be bothered to make it more granular.

At night you'll want torches or something because you can't see very far and could get lost or crash your wagon.
For more, see -
Hexcrawl Rules

And a minor aside to that one last thing -
Initiative is side-by-side: At the start of each round, both sides roll initiative, highest goes first. Reroll each round.
If the PCs have enough light they win ties.
If they have not enough light they lose ties.
If they have no light they always lose.

So they'll always win ties in the day, but at night it's down to torchlight.




Weather-Based Encounters

And of course a last important thing - Encounters!
Each weather type has its own kind of monster that only shows up when it rains or whatever, hopefully setting up some foreshadowing from a wizened old crone saying "watch out when the summer storms sheet down, my boy, or the clicking eels will getcha..."

Roll 2d6 down and 1d6 across for a result.
You'll notice that it's the classic (?) array of Encounter - Lair - Spoor - etc.

Number 8 is a Weather Special which gives an Encounter with the relevant beastie, or more often some unique weather-based effect.
Number 5 is Weather Effect which is generic, but has a chance to change the weather! Woe betide the party who thought they could travel through the Warning and finds themselves caught in thorn weather.

What mysteries lie in the Drudge Wastes??

Discussion

The only change I've made to the gimmick since its inception is to make it player-facing and make the "forward" direction a bit more likely, to add a little more consistency and predictability for players looking at the weather sheet.

Mechanically I want weather to be a consideration but not onerous. Atmospheric in both senses of the word. Interesting but not a gotcha. But still, if you get caught out in it unprepared you'll have a bad time.
Same with predicting the weather - have it out on the table and let people plan for what's coming (although they will have to work out the colours, of course).
Originally I was all "he he he, they will have to learn that Doom Weather is guarded by a Warning" but honestly it's better to be player-facing when possible, especially since they can see the red next to the blue and go "hmm.. In wonder if red is bad".

Materially it also has to consider the fact that I'm always going to have PCs cycling in and out of the game each session, so it isn't going to be satisfying if you only missed a session and now you're taking 1d4 Drip damage per round because you missed your chance to buy an Umbrella from the Brollymen or whatever.
Plus I cycle to work every day and always have my wet weather gear on me just in case, so I imagine that someone whose only job is adventuring would at least have some sort of medieval festival poncho on them at all times.

Generally per season - 
Green is the Standard Weather, travelling weather but probably sucks shit.
Purple is Rain of various horrible sorts. Can you tell I'm a Brit?
Brown is the seasons's Storm, awful to be in but you can push through if you desperately need to.
Blue is an electrical Warning, heralding the arrival of the worst kind of weather. Tends to be good travel weather if you're willing to risk it.
Red is Thorn Weather. In the past this killed you instantly, today it merely takes your mind.
White is Clear. The only Good weather with a capital G. Straight up clear skies and far horizons.



One Last Thing

Don't forget to vote for Barkeep on the Borderlands!


Saturday 25 March 2023

Bracklings - A Seasonal PC Class

The true Brackling is a huge horse-chestnut the size of your chest, but most people look at their face when they talk to them. A hard wooden face like a theatre mask or a Green Man, but moving as though in a stop-motion movie. Fluid, expressive, and animated on twos.
Their arms and legs are a thick mass of thorny vines winding around whippy wooden stems, a living hedgerow or shrubbery. Indeed many birds, bugs, and crawling beasts might live amongst a Brackling, and there are at least a few species which have adapted to life in a Brackling over any other home.


They have a short and seasonal life.

In the Spring a Brackling's thorny limbs are skinny and covered with countless flowers, hopefully meeting with other Bracklings in a cloud of pollen. This is the Brackling mating period, and the genderless (or more likely twice-sexed) Bracklings seek to share their pollens far and wide.
The flowers themselves are most often rose-shaped in a variety of colours and patterns, but they also tend to really like bulbs like daffodils, tulips, and crocuses. Bracklings can even take cuttings of particularly lovely flowers and incorporate them into their forms, which is used to show that they have taste, refinement, and a good potential for hybrid vigour. Having a flower arrangement of foreign flowers in your foliage is pretty sexy.

The pollen can also be weaponised. This is great fun for most Bracklings, who feel that it's amusingly uncouth to force another creature to breathe in their gametophytes and choke on them. It's a useful trick! The thick cloud of allergenic pollen slows their foes and makes it hard to see the Brackling in the billowing mist.




In Summer the Bracklings grow thicker and bushier. Their stem-bones are strong and covered with crinkled bark, their vines turning a rich ochre.  Woody branches grow from their core and out from their shoulders, and without careful pruning they can begin to lose their person-shape!
This is a time for prideful Bracklings to groom themselves into fanciful topiaries, and to tend to the birds and beetles who are attracted to the sweet fruits that grow from their branches.
More slovenly Bracklings will just let it all grow out, becoming a sort of tall walking shrub, home to the less savoury type of insect and the more rambunctious kinds of bird.

In any case, this is the age when a Brackling learns to control its plant-body better, growing into interesting shapes, self-pruning, and consciously directing their vital energies.
Their fruits come in many shapes and sizes. Most people assume that their fruits look like apples, but this is actually fairly rare. Bracklings tend to prefer blackberries, pears, or pomegranates.
The ripest fruits are plucked easily from the stem, and as the Brackling walks over fertile ground they unconsciously pluck these soft squishy fruits and stamp them into the ground with their step.

Amongst the sweet fruits of a Summer Brackling are a few of a more rare lustre - fruits containing the latent life-essence of a Brackling. These wriggle and writhe with barely contained vital energies, a proto-Brackling formed before it should be formed.
If planted these fruits will immediately grow into a frenetic Brackling-Ling, all flailing limbs and unfettered life, brambles clawing as it desperately clings to existence.
If eaten by another the fruits contain incredible vitality, healing wounds and restoring the spirit - at the morally ambiguous cost of eating the pre-unborn.

If unplanted and uneaten they get stamped into the earth anyway, so why not use them for some useful end...?

Come on bruv at least get the shears out



In the Autumn the Bracklings begin to lose their leaves and are soon bare, shameless of their nudity. Their twigs have the tough and yielding whip-like tension of green wood.
The rushing sap-mind that once embedded in their fruit seeds is slowing, but has nowhere to go but within. Their mind, and the minds remembered by the minds before, slowly well into their consciousness. Old knowledge to be reexamined. Ancient memories recontextualised for a new age.
Their control of their own body is far more impressive. They can mould themselves into other forms with some small but focused effort. The bone-deep casual confidence of ancient sires making it easy to slip into this or that social group.
This makes it far easier for them to blend in with other creatures' societies, but they may reject this and take on various beastly forms. This is the twilight of the lifecycle, and given their imminent mortality there are many Bracklings who find it easier to just root down and watch the world go by.

Their thorns, which have grown jagged and tough, serve as vicious weapons. Stories tell of criminals who, having cornered a seemingly unarmed person in an alleyway, discover that their wood-masked quarry is more than they bargained for.




In Winter the Brackling must finally die.
The natural fate of the Brackling is to find a safe place, root into the ground, and pass on their legacy.
The great conker-core nestles to the ground surrounded by the dry thornbush of the Brackling's body, and splits open to reveal a smaller fist-sized seed nestled in the fluffy innards.
The seed stirs, gathers the cottony fluff around itself, and awakens into the winter world.
This newgrown Brackling knows all of the old one's memories like stories told over and over by a grandparent. A new person with old knowledge.
It's maybe as tall as a shinbone, light as a feather, and knows that it if it survives the winter it can tell those stories to its siblings whose seeds still slumber beneath the cold earth.
Small and light as it is, the Cotton Brackling is not defenceless. It's light enough to float on a breeze, its body beneath the fluff is thin enough to fit through the smallest crack, and under the winter coat it hides impressively sharp fluff-fletched spears which it can shoot a surprising distance.
Plus, importantly, it can pilot the corpse of its dead sire like a horrible corpse-mecha. Cotton Bracklings must make their own decision. Some prefer to fly free on the breeze, unburdened by the thorny shrubbery that was once their parent. Others take their parents' empty shell with them for practical reasons - you can't carry much when you're the size of a toddler and nearly lighter than air. It's a bit morbid but very convenient.

But hatching from your parent's heart is not the fate of all Bracklings. There are those who decide to hold onto their own self, their own existence, rather than pass on their body and soul to the next generation.
These hulking beings are known as Crone Golems. They grow huge and twisted, barrel-chested and sharp. Lumbering tree-beings with a grip that can crush stone.
The stillborn Brackling in their core feeds poison through their mighty bodies, emerging in blood-red sap that drips from their sharp and evil thorns.
They will die in the Spring, of course, but for now they are a fearsome monolith of bark and bramble, a terrifying force of nature.


As for the seeds that were planted in the Summer, they slowly grow underground and sprout in late Winter with only the vaguest memory of their parent.
For those whose parent stayed in place throughout the Autumn, they will grow up into a little grove of new-sprouted siblings and be regaled by tales of the past by the Brackling which hatched from their parent's core. 
If their parent wandered, the newgrown Bracklings emerge alone with far-flung siblings and, if they're lucky, a particularly driven elder sibling who will backtrack along the sense-memories of their sire. A travelling seed-bard who finds their buried brethren and tells them tales of the previous years.
The most unlucky, and the most shamed, are those who were born of a Crone Golem. The memories of their forebears lost, the chain of generations broken. Forever marked by the will of a being who had barely been born before they had to choose how to die.






---


The intention is that in gameplay, these folks cycle through the classic dnd class archetypes before ending up as a weird new class. AC tank fighter in Spring, then a sort of healer/summoner in Summer, then thief in Autumn, and finally in Winter they're a whole new class that's a thorn-flinging flying horror or a massive unkillable Grootish motherfucker.

---

And so... to rules.

Brackling

HP: 1d6, minimum 4 at 1st level.
Saves and Exp Track: As Specialist
As a fairly delicate class, you have a base AC of 8.

In Spring you are surrounded with pollen and good vibes. This gives you +level to your Charisma score, or cancel it to activate your 10' radius Pollen Cloud. Creatures in the cloud choose on their turn: Slowed or take -1 to hit per Brackling level.

In Summer you have fruit hanging from your branches. You have many, but you have one golden juicy fruit per level per day. Your fruits may be gifted or thrown. Gifted fruits heal 1d6 if eaten straight from the branch (this takes an action, either yours or theirs). Thrown fruits create a Fruitling who lasts for a 10 minute Turn when thrown onto good soil, or a round per level otherwise. It attacks at random in a 10' range with great whomping branches for 1d6 damage and a bonus to hit equal to your level.
Your bushy body grants +2 AC.

In Autumn a Brackling can send down their roots, take an hour, and assign themselves +1 per level to their Skills. They can also grow themselves into new forms during this time, with brack-wolves, brack-ponies and even brack-monkeys known. Their long jagged thorns grant a spear-ranged 1d6 damage unarmed attack, no matter what form they choose.
If you crit with this attack it activates Blossom Fall - a sweet-smelling rain of petals which extends the crit range of all in 10' by +1 per your level. During Blossom Fall you always act before initiative is rolled.
Your whip-thin and wiry body gives you +4 AC.

In Winter they must choose whether to become a Cotton Brackling who can pilot their dead sire, or a Crone Golem who is strong but must inevitably die.
- The Cotton Brackling can fly but can't carry much when they do. The only real weapon they've got is a ranged thorn attack which does d4 damage, or they can pilot their parent who has no special abilities but can at least carry a weapon.
When piloting your parent's corpse you have +4 AC, or otherwise +0 AC.
- The Crone Golem is huge and lumbering. Your Hit Die becomes a d10, rerolling your max HP as soon as you transform. You deal 1d10 damage with your crushing fists, and the red sap deals a point of Bleed per successful hit - affected enemies take 1 damage per round of Bleed Damage unless they skip their turn.
Your twisted and bark-coated body gives you +6 AC.

In Spring the Crone Golem dies permanently, but a Cotton Brackling grows into its Spring form and continues the cycle.






Tuesday 8 June 2021

Spherical Angels and the Gods They Serve

Angels are an enemy that my players have fought quite a few times over the years.

These angels are nakedly technological - basically Modrons with a slice of Evangelion - and they're sent down by the ASE-inspired orbital gods which orbit the planet.

Here are some facts about Angels.
- They are spherical with a single central eye, and roll around in ball form when they're not in combat mode. 
- They sing to each other in Angelic Binary so fighting them sounds like fighting a choir. 
- If you kill a higher-ranked angel, one of the lesser angels upgrades to replace them.
- A full choir of them numbers exactly 21, since they are arranged with a leader Ophanim who commands four Tacticians each of whom commands four Baseline angels.
- They are part of an ancient failsafe designed to prevent the end of the world, a task they only partially succeeded at back during the Apocalypse.
- The angels are ultimately controlled by whichever God is overhead that week, and each God has their own agenda and grants the angels a different special ability.


In gameplay terms they've got a fair few gimmicks, all ultimately predictable because Law is predictable.
Mostly they scare my players because they've got good armour, magic immunity, the ranged ones have armour piercing beam cannons, and killing the leader first is a bad idea because their minions just upgrade to take their place.
That plus they usually go for Chaotic characters first, so wizards feel very victimised.

Might as well start with the stats!

I have other drawings saved somewhere but can't find them so enjoy this quick scrawl!

Stats

Angels in General

Abilities
Immunities: Immune to Chaotic magic and stasis weaponry.
- Patrol Mode: Roll around in spherical form, mostly used when on patrol or on standby.
Flight Mode: Can transform into a ball with wings and fly around. Can't attack in this form.
- Scan: Detect Alignment at will.


Angel - Baseline

Baseline angels are the rank and file. Four Baselines are commanded by a single Tactician.
Baselines obey orders blindly, and have no executive function of their own.
They have little skinny legs and little skinny arms and little skinny wings and basically look just like a Modron.

Stats:
HD2. AC Chain. Morale 12.
Unarmed attack: 1d6.

Abilities:
- Weapon Swap: When commanded by their Tactician, they immediately generate any kind of melee weapon. (See "Weapon Types" in the house rules)
- Upgrade: When their commanding Tactician is destroyed or upgraded, one of its subsidiary Baseline angels transforms into a Tactician. It gains +2 HD immediately.


Angel - Tactician

Tactician Angels are a real-time calculating node in the angel network. Four Tacticians are commanded by a single Ophanim. 
They have some tactical reasoning but these are strictly limited to the present moment, they have no ability for long term strategy. Mostly this is calculating stuff like "enemies are in heavy armour, use hammers" and telling their Baselines to swap to hammers.

Stats:
HD 4. AC Chain. Morale 12.
Unarmed ram attack: 1d6
or 2 armour-piercing stasis beam cannons: 1d6 each

Abilities:
- Switch Up: As an action, can order their Baseline minions to swap weapons.
- Upgrade: When their commanding Ophanim is destroyed or upgraded, one of its subsidiary Tactician angels transforms into an Ophanim. It gains +4 HD immediately.


Angel - Ophanim

Ophanim angels are the commanders of their group. One Ophanim commands 4 Tacticians that each command 4 Baselines, for a total of 21 angels per Choir.
They have the capacity for longer term strategy and are hubs for the wider angel network.
They are ultimately overseen by the Seraphim dropship that hovers at the edge of the Stratosphere.
This plus they're a whirling array of metal and high-powered beam weapons that can encase a large area within an impenetrable stasis barrier.

Stats:
HD 8. AC Plate. Morale 12.
Whirling shard attack: Attack all in 10' for 1d6 damage.
or 2 armour-piercing stasis beam cannons: 1d12 each.

Abilities:
- Reactive Movement: If hit by an attack, may take a free move without triggering Opportunity Attacks.
- Stasis Shell: As an action, create a 50' diameter shell of frozen time impenetrable to almost all non-angels. Takes a round to spin up and lasts until the Ophanim stops maintaining it. Things can still move inside the barrier, but they can't cross out and any projectiles crossing the barrier get stuck. The Ophanim itself can't act while maintaining the field, so needs to rely on its minions to destroy anything that's in there with it.


One of my players rendered one of them!



Tactics

First off, Angels hate Chaos.
They'll always attack Chaotic entities first, and will abandon their other goals until they've chased down and destroyed Chaotic targets.
They attack Neutral entities if they get too close or get in the way of their goals, but won't chase too far.
Lawful entities are ignored unless they physically attack an Angel.

Secondly, Angels upgrade.
Each Ophanim controls 4 Tacticians.
Each Tactician controls 4 Baselines.
If an angel higher in the hierarchy dies, one of their underlings upgrades at the end of the round to take their place.

Thirdly, Angels don't care about firing into combat.
All angels are immune to Stasis Beam attacks, so they'll try to get the Baselines in to tie up foes, then blast the melee with beam-fire.


Fourthly, Ophanim can use their stasis bubble for offence and defense.
If it calculates that its Choir is unlikely to survive, it can put up its Stasis Shell to prevent further action. Angels can roll through Stasis zones unhindered, so they can roll back into the field until danger has passed.
On the other hand, if it can trap a lone foe inside the field and have the rest of the angels come murder it, so much the better! This is a potentially dangerous tactic since the Ophanim can't defend itself with the field up, but mobbing one poor fool with a bunch of angels is usually a winning technique.




Gods Above

A fun extra thing about Angels is that they have different abilities depending on which God is above that week.
I track this because I have a game calendar (so cool, I know) and each week the God closest to the zenith in the skies above influences the Angels below.

You could always roll a 1d9 if you don't care about calendars.



NameAngel MoodAngel Special
Dispater of the Subtle KnifeElusiveAll Angels gain a free move when hit.
Baselines equip reach weapons.
Oberon of the Green BranchWaryBaselines can use 1d6 ranged bow
Minerva of the Burnished ShieldDefensiveBaselines equip shields
The Scorned of the Rusted BladeResoluteTacticians can command a weapon swap as a free action
The Dead God of the Brittle BoneMurderousMob individuals. 4 in 6 Backstab.
Alaunus of the Mailed FistEfficientTarget lowest HP first.
The Lady of the Silver CoinFickleImmune to opportunity attacks, retarget foes every round.
The Allfather of the Filled CupHard-hittingBaselines deal +1 die size for damage.
Eris of the Spinning WheelHatefulReverse priorities - kill Lawful first.


God Lore

There are, or were, Nine High Gods orbiting the Earth.
Massive mechanical minds born from aeons-ancient ingenuity, long sent into space to allow them to grow beyond all earthly proportion.
Immortal, impossible space golems, each orbit another turn of the prayer wheel.

If the Gods need to affect the world they send forth their angels.
The Seraphim, huge brass spheres, descend from above and blossom forth, the lower hemisphere opening up into six huge wing-petals covered with eyes.
Each eye is an angel, deployed from the wings according to the unknowable yet fairly obvious tactics of the Gods.

One of the Nine, Eris, was shot down in an earlier age. This has the unfortunate effect of putting angels into their failsafe "scorched earth" mode when they detect no gods overhead.
Some Faiths claim that she lies below Dwimmermount even now. Some call her Queen Satan, others believe her a fallen God unjustly wrenched from the heavens, others still say she never entered heaven at all...