Another Underclock

I've been using Arnold's Underclock since about 5 minutes after that blog post dropped. It's great!

Trouble is I do miss the "oh shit there's something here RIGHT NOW that we have to deal with!" aspect of random encounters. So, as is my way, I've decided to nest other peoples' ideas into one thing and pretend like it's a new thing.

This is my Underclock. There are many like it but this one is mine.

Fusion: Underclock AND Overload

I mean Arnold did say "I like overloaded encounter dice. I like the Underclock more".

In summary:

• The players roll a 1d6 Encounter Die each exploration turn and mark off that many squares on the Underclock (left to right).
• The Encounter Die is overloaded so it always does something, but it's usually some sort of Clue.
• If they land on a monster face it's a classic Random Encounter. The clock keeps ticking.
• If they reach the end they have an Encounter with the local faction. Reset the clock.

Simple enough right? 1 in 6 chance of a Random Encounter every time, plus it eventually builds up to a guaranteed encounter they can prepare for.

Alertness

But what is "Alertness", I hear you ask?

This represents the organised dungeon denizens seeking you out.

The DM rolls the Alertness Die if you did something to attract attention.
Cause a ruckus, let foes escape alive, blow up a door, set off an alarm, knock a skeleton down a big well even though a wizard told you not to, that sort of thing.

The Alertness Die result marks off squares back up the Underclock towards you, reducing the time horizon until you get that guaranteed encounter.

If this overtakes your position on the Underclock, they get the jump on you with a surprise round!

The Alertness Die starts at d2 and increases a die size per encumbrance tier. 
The highest encumbrance in the party counts, because stealthily slipping through shadows doesn't matter when Sir Stabbington is stomping close behind in heavy armour and carrying a sackful of jingling treasure.

There's also the fact that sleeping in a monster-infested cave is generally a bad move, but sometimes you've got no other choice.

The Alertness Die permanently increases by one step if you sleep (in modern parlance, take a Long Rest) in a dungeon.
This resets if you leave the dungeon and spend a night on the surface.

The DM can always bump it up a level or two if you're habitually going around making extra noise. Dragging a handcart full of loot around, escorting a gaggle of kids who think it's a museum trip, wielding a singing sword who won't shut up, etc.

Local Faction

As for what the "local faction" is, this is whatever organised foes are mostly likely to be around.

This will be the Goblins in the Goblin Lair, the Necromancers in the Skeletal Hoard, the Magnet Eaters in the Technodungeon, etc etc.

In a Megadungeon you might have different local factions across a dungeon level, like Goblins in the west and Ratmen in the east.
If there is no such group, like it's an abandoned wizard's tower or forgotten tomb, this is the Mythic Underworld itself trying to eject you by means of whatever the most defining beastie is inside it. In the Antediluvian Manse it's Cataclysm Ghosts. In the Cretan Labyrinth, it's the Minotaur.

The main thing is that the players should be able to make an educated guess at what's coming for them so if the Underclock is close to running out they can make plans for ambushes, fortifications, hiding places, or fun rooms to lure their enemies into. 

Of course if the PCs are on good terms with said local faction, this could be a perfectly charming little social encounter! Yet another good reason not to murder everyone you meet.

Mêlée à Trois

There is every possibility that the players can land on a square that has a monster face and has already been marked off by the local faction.

In this case there's a random encounter and a faction encounter simultaneously.
Get chaotic! Even the random encounter is Goblins and the faction is Goblins, make up a reason why these Goblins hate each other nearly as much as they hate intruders!

Overloaded Encounter Die

Finally, the Encounter Die itself.

The players always roll a d6 and it goes like so:

1. Clue: Spoor
2. Clue: Tracks
3. Clue: Traces
4. Noise
5. Special
6. Special

Clue

These are all ways of giving the players an idea of what sort of beasties live around here, as in the original overloaded "Percept (clue, spoor)" result or Shadowed encounters on the OG Underclock.

Clue: Spoor means the creature is very close. It could be stalking you. This will be growls, shadows rushing past at the corner of your eye, still-steaming shadow effluent.
Roll a random encounter, describe the spoor, and lock it in. Next time they hit a Random Encounter it will be with that creature. Lasts until they hit the random encounter or roll a different Clue.

Clue: Tracks means the creature isn't close, but it's been here recently. This will be footprints, slime trails, clawmarks, dropped scraps, a recently devoured corpse.
Roll a random encounter, describe the tracks (and decide where it is, within a few rooms). If the players follow the tracks they can find the creature and surprise it! If they ignore the tracks, no further effect.

Clue: Traces is just evidence of the creature being around here somewhere. This will be shed fur, graffiti, a molted exoskeleton, an old nest.

Roll the encounter die and describe the traces. No further effect.

Noise

An errant sneeze, an accidental clang of the shield against a wall, an unseen femur cracked beneath your tread. Whatever it is, you've made enough noise to attract attention.

Everyone checks their current Encumbrance (in case someone has been mysteriously lax), then the DM rolls the Alertness Die.

Special

These are dungeon-specific results to give a pinch of dungeon-specific flavour.

By default (ie. common dungeon and/or if I haven't prepared something in time) these are:

5. Doors: Open doors swing closed, and closed doors become stuck this turn.

6. Lights: Light sources flicker and dim, you can barely see this turn.

In a spoopy dungeon they could be:

5. Fear! Save or drop everything and run screaming back the way you came - Save again in each room, you stop running when you finally succeed.

6. Bats! Swarm of bats puts out all light sources, those without a light Save or take 1d6 damage.

In a crashed spaceship they could be:

5. Magnetic Pulse! All metal objects (including you, if you're in metal armour) are stuck to the ground this turn.

6. Null Gravity! Everyone's floating in zero-G this turn.

Add a couple of fun effects and the dungeon will hopefully be memorable! Especially if you are...

A Victim of a Series of Accidents

If I roll a Special result that triggers an encounter, do both happen?
Can I land on a random encounter and roll a clue simultaneously?
If the Encounter Die hits a random encounter AND a Noise result, resulting in the local faction surprising me, am I fucked?

Yes.
Very very much yes.

It's up to the DM to work out this particular admixture. The more chaotic the better!

Discussion, However Brief

So basically this sub-system retains the time pressure "oh shit let's plan ahead"-ness of the Underclock with the surprising "oh shit ITS HERE!"-ness of the random encounter roll.

When the Underclock is getting close to finishing, it's probably a good idea to be extra super quiet (so they don't get the drop on you) and prepare for whatever's going to turn up (by setting up your ambush and waiting out the last few dots on the Underclock).
This won't always work of course, there's always the risk of a Noise result giving the baddies an ambush opportunity, but most of the time it's reliable...

The intelligent monsters being a guaranteed eventuality and the wandering monsters being an occasional occurrence should give each dungeon its own special flavour and its own sense-memory for my poor benighted players. After all, what's the point of invading the Goblin Caves if you never actually see a Goblin?

Most importantly the systems interlock in a way that will surprise me too!

Plus I get to update my Marching Order sheet to make the Underclock a bigger deal.

I even updated the Fleeing Table! Find it here.

TFP DMG: How To Run Combat

To my surprise and delight, there are people out there running my rules as-is!
This is wonderful, but also made me realise that I've got a lot of assumptions about how to run a game that don't necessarily come through!

Getting in Fights

The classic OSR rhetoric is to say that "combat is a failure state".
That is, the optimal tactic is to avoid combat at all costs.

This is true but let's be honest - violence is both inevitable and interesting.

Let's get into it!

Real Basic Assumptions

Let the dice run the combat.

Congrats! You've become a part of the audience with your players!

It's not your show any more, you're here to be an interpreter.

Sit back, relax, and get worried with your players when it looks like they're at risk.
Remember: It's not your fault. It's the dice.

Roll in the open.

Roll monster attacks and damage and everything in the open. It's fun, means you can't fudge, and shows newbies more examples of how the game works.
Plus the players get to celebrate or despair when they see what you just rolled with a big baddie.

Explain what you're doing.

Get into the habit of saying "this guy has 14 AC because his skin is like leather" or "this thing has a +4 to hit because it's got a whip-quick lashing neck like a snake" or "the poison bite gives you bleed poison equal to damage".
Not only does this help people understand how the game works under the hood, but their character can probably tell that a living statue will be harder to hurt than a robed tentacle cultist.


Simple initiative.

Simple, aka side-by-side initiative, is when each side (DM and player) has all their turns, then the other side has all their turns.
Roll 1d6 per side, highest wins, players win ties since I'm nice.
Not only does this speed up the actual game around the table and allow greater player cooperation, rerolling initiative each round has the added bonus of occasionally letting one side have two turns in a row.
Truly the easiest way to chuck balance out the window and watch it splatter on the pavement below.
There's little more nail-biting than an initiative roll when someone's about to die and facing down a massive hit from a big monster.

Be lenient.

Combat is messy. It's easy for a player to have a different idea in their head of what the situation is compared to you.
If someone says they're doing something, make sure of two things:
- The intent. What is the outcome they're hoping for?

- The consequences. What happens if it doesn't work out?
These are usually pretty obvious, but if you notice somebody trying to do something exceptionally stupid or impossible make sure you (and they) are on the same page.


Justify results retroactively.

Whatever you rolled, make up a reason why it happened! Or even better, work with the players to work out why it happened.
"These massive dragon jaws, this huge mouth comes down, about to bite you in half, and holy shit a fumble wait wait ok... it's stunned!?... what even happened here?!"
"THE SOUL OF ARACH-NACHA DID IT!"
Divining meaning from randomness is the heart of this game after all!

I give this handy combat option summary to Fighters, so they can be the ones who tell people how best to fight
Link.

Fuck it I stab him - Adjudicating Players in Combat

Violence

I've got three ways to resolve PC violence:
- Attack. Your classic roll to hit then roll for damage.
- Wrestle. For when they get in close and grapply.
- Gambit. Combat manouevres and other cool moves.

Attack.

Any time someone simply wants to make something die with their weapon, it's a regular Attack.

1d20 + modifiers vs AC. On hit, roll damage.

Players have got a fair few options for messing with the attack roll, mostly centred around weapon type modifiers (see Fighter handout above).

Also if multiple PCs are Flanking an enemy, they can roll Backstab on hit to upgrade it to a crit.
Most PCs only have a 1 in 6 chance of this, but Specialists and people who chucked in a point or two for Failed Career might bring their chance up.

One good thing about an Attack that might not be obvious is that you're not opening yourself up to immediate repercussions. If you Wrestle or Gambit you might get hurt on your own turn!

Wrestle.

Usually comes up when someone says "I want to stop her from attacking" or "I tackle them!", very useful for resolving PC-on-PC conflict where nobody actually wants to hurt each other.
Monsters love to wrestle too, so another common reason is "I want to get this off me!"

Contested d20 roll, melee bonus applies. Winner chooses Hold, Disarm, Brawl or Kick Away.
Hold: Try to pin them. Three Holds in a row makes them pinned and helpless.
Disarm: Snatch something from them, or throw something they're holding away.
Brawl: Deal damage with Small, Minor or natural weapons.
Kick Away: Kick them back in the direction of your choice.

One interesting thing to note is that since it's a contested d20 roll, wrestling effectively bypasses armour. The only exception is that Shanky weapons like daggers get a bonus Brawl attack if your Wrestle roll beats their AC - win or lose.
Sometimes it's better to wrestle an armoured foe and shank him in the ribs rather than keep plinking away at his armour, especially if he's got a larger weapon that can't be used to Brawl.

Since starting your go in a Wrestle means your only choice is to roll to Wrestle, it's also a real good option for locking down an enemy that might otherwise run away or attack a friend.

Once the Wrestle gets going you effectively roll twice a combat round - once on each wrestler's go. Since they're both at risk with every roll it makes things feel much more intense.

Gambit.

If they want to do something that's wacky/interesting/otherwise not covered by Attack or Wrestle, it's time to go to Gambit!
My table fucking loves Gambits. They're exciting!

Roll to hit twice.
Two hits - it works like you wanted it to!
Two misses - Ironic reversal, often the thing you wanted to do happens to you.
One hit one miss - partial success or success at cost (I tell you the options, you get to choose).

The advice above about intent and consequences is most important here.

Make sure you're clear on their intent. What happens if they succeed?
Make sure you're all clear on the consequences. What happens if they fail?

Once you're on the same page, say something like "ok so you'll do this if you succeed but this happens if you fail. Still want to do it?"

Sometimes there's a situation where you could adjudicate it as a Wrestle or a Gambit.
An easy example is a disarm - you could do that via a Wrestle (roll off, if you win you can choose to disarm) or via a Gambit (roll to hit twice, on success you've disarmed them).
In a case like this just ask them what they'd prefer, telling them the difference and the stakes.

Non-Violence.

There's a ton of stuff people can do that doesn't directly hurt, hinder or otherwise mess with the agency of others.

Much of the time you can just say "yea that happens". If someone wants to run away or use an item or whatever, just let them do it.

If it feels like there should be some chance of failure, like they want to do something super quickly or while they're in melee or are otherwise in direct danger, make them roll an appropriate skill.

I use Climbing for this fairly often. If there's a real difference in elevation, like you're on the street and want to get up to the fighting on the roof, I'll have you roll Climb to get up there in a hurry.

Even if it's something that seems impossible to do in a single round, like grab an oil flask and stuff a rag in it and light it, feel free to say it takes a few discrete rounds of actions.
In my game this often results in "fine I'll throw the oil and then someone else lights it" which is legit. Teamwork innit!
Also remember - Sleight of Hand to quickly do fiddly things is a legit way to use that skill.

Don't make it too much of a ballache to do non-violent stuff in combat!
The worst thing that can happen is that someone goes "oh fuck it whatever it's too hard, I just stab him" and just attacks instead of doing something more interesting or memorable.

It leaps at you! - Running Monsters in Combat

The main thing with running enemies is that generally you want to run them as quick as possible so the players can get back to making decisions.

What do they do??

You get all sorts of monsters with all sorts of bullshit abilities.
Make sure the powers are easy to adjudicate! Sometimes I'll make a monster and give them some cool fiddly power and oh no turns out I made them come in packs of 2d10 what was I thinking!?

I know Spwack has success with letting monsters use Gambits, but I don't do it personally.
That means monsters are either Attacking (probably with some bullshit monster ability) or Wrestling (monsters love wrestling, especially if they have teeth and claws and/or can jump great distances).

Don't be cagey about why monsters are doing what they're doing.
"It's protecting its master!" or "you hurt it last time!" or whatever.
Hell, if they're tactical enemies have them talk to each other about their tactics!
"Hit the wizard before she casts that spell!" or "stay at a distance from the one with the greatsword!", that sort of thing.

I'd reiterate a bunch of stuff about how to make "simple" monsters fun in combat, but again, some shithead did it better long ago.

Sidebar: Monster Wrestling

If multiple monsters gang up on one PC, they could be in trouble!
Since everyone rolls at once and the winner chooses what to do to one of the losers, it's hard to win and hard to kick them all off even if you do win!

Tying a PC down with a few little baddies is a good time, and if they've got Shanky weapons like knives they can all potentially deal damage by beating the PCs AC.

Who do they kill??

Sometimes you know exactly who an enemy is going for, like they're in deadly melee with a PC or they always go for the person with the least HP or they hate goblins.

Other times, I roll and decide why they did what they did after rolling.

A common phrase at my table is "high or low?", meaning that there are two potential targets and you've got to choose whether you're attacked on a 4-6 or a 1-3.
Roll the dice, see who they go for.

Sometimes I weight the results. "Ok you're down and no threat, but they might come to finish you off anyway because you killed their best friend. How about on a 1-2 they go for you and on a 3-6 they go for your friend nearby?"

If someone goes "hey no why are they attacking me?! Why don't they attack that guy?" then rolling to see who they go for is a good shout.

When do they stop??

When you:
- Kill them
- Make them stop
- Run away

Kill them!!

The obvious one! Kill them before they kill you!

I roll monster HP on Xd6+X, where X is HD.
Not necessarily for mechanical consistency reasons, I just have lots of d6s and the bell curves line up. If you've got enough d8s by all means use them!

I've got a couple of gimmicks with monster HP too.

If it's a gang of small enemies, like humans, I'll roll HP in the open after an attack hits them. If they survive, I put the die I just rolled on that enemy to show how much they've got left. (This is easy because I use pennies or other flat tokens for baddies).

For big beefy boys I roll all their HP behind a book or something, then as they're damaged I chuck the dice back into the box behind the screen to show how hurt they are.
It's fun to throw a few back when someone hits with a particularly meaty blow!

Make them stop!!

Morale is the main one! Roll on first death, when there are half left and/or when shit's starting to get slow and it's obvious the PCs are going to win.

Otherwise this is because my players have tried to initiate negotiations or something. If this happens just keep in mind what the enemy probably wants ("not to die" is a common one) and what they've got to bargain with.
I love a chatty baddie, so I'm usually open to this sort of thing!

Run away!!

When the going gets tough, the tough get out of there!

Chase scenes use the snakes and ladders minigame. I've got this on the back of the laminated marching order sheet, so I can flip it for chase scenes!

All you've got to do is work out how fast the baddies are on a scale from 1d10 (fast and light) to 1d4 (slow and clumsy). Since the maximum for an unencumbered character is 1d10, extra super fast enemies might roll on a 1d12.

Since the minigame is intentionally fairly abstract make sure to tie it into the fictional events! If the someone rolled really poorly or particularly well, make up why!

THE BEAST COMETH - Boss Monsters

I don't often use boss monsters. It's a lot of work for something that, if all goes to plan, dies and can't be used again.

But hey, I do them sometimes! Most recently with Elemental Dragons, and usually one-shots end with a big baddie.
Like that one time versus Santa Claus.
And that other time versus Trump.

Basically boss battles work best in a one-shot railroady format, so they turn up a lot then!

What I do use sometimes is a powerful foe with fiddly abilities - and isn't that what a boss monster is when you get right down to it. You don't want to have more than one or two fiddly foes in a battle!

The main thing to remember is that the players have almost always got way more actions and agency and attacks than a lone baddie, and mine have enough alpha strike potential to nuke a single target to the ground in the course of a single turn. Unintuitively, boss monsters are more vulnerable than a mob.
A boss monster that's just a big lone guy with lots of health is going to die.

So how to run them? Be aware of this. Give them abilities that allow them to be a threat outside of turn order. Make sure it's not just one meaty boi in a room - have them call for help.
Sometimes this can be a bullshit aura. Sometimes this can be immunities or resistances to certain attacks. Maybe they fuck with terrain, or have weird abilities that fuck with the players instead of the characters.

On their turn, try to change the battlefield a bit.
Smash characters around with a huge and powerful monster, pounce on the back rank with a fast and leaping monster, command the troops intelligently with a smart and tactical monster.

While your usual rabble might just act at random, give a bit of extra thought to boss monsters and other more complex creatures.
If they're chatty and can negotiate with PCs while they're carving them up, so much the better!

A Final Note on PC Death

Sometimes, a character will die.

For a PC death to feel legit it has to be:
- a consequence of player agency, and
- a known threat

If it feels like the PC had no choice in the matter, or couldn't have done anything to prepare for it, it feels cruel and arbitrary.

Look at Jon Snow up there. He made some dumb fucking choices and deserved to die for those choices, but they were his choices.

If it feels like you've railroaded a PC into a situation where they had no choice but to die, it's bullshit.
If the PC just dies out of nowhere and couldn't have discovered the thing that killed them, it's bullshit.

This is why it's important to telegraph traps, or at the very least telegraph that this is a place where traps are possible. 

It's also why my Death and Dismemberment rules are so complex, it means that you can survive a poorly telegraphed attack better!

Basically, make sure that if a PC dies it's their fault!

TFP DMG: How I Use Skills

Skills were brought up fairly recently in the OSR Discord channel, specifically LotFP skills and specifically why/when/how to use them.

It's an interesting question!

So here's my personal take.

How I Think of Skills

- Adventurers are competent
- Skills are bullshit

So your average adventurer spends all their time doing adventure stuff, thinking about adventure things, being an adventure person. They've got not much else to do, really, .

If they have to sneak, they're sneaky.
If they have to climb, they're climby.
They know how to shoot an arrow, wield any weapon they pick up, how to use armour to deflect blows.
They can swim, read, climb up a rope, all that "normal" adventure stuff.

Basically, they're as competent as you want them to be.

This is reflected in LotFP by everyone having at least a 1-in-6 chance to succeed at any of the skills.

Every character knows the basic ideas behind climbing or tinkering or stealth or whatever.

But skills are bullshit. They let you do stuff nobody should be able to do.
Any adventurer could climb a wall, but only some could keep going when they get shot.
Any adventurer could pick a shitty lock, but only some could pick a good one.

Any adventurer could stay hidden, but only some could stay hidden when someone's looking right at you.

I only roll for skills when someone needs to do something above and beyond the capabilities of a competent person who has a good deal of familiarity with D&D-style adventure, whether that's doing things incredibly well or incredibly quickly.

A skill monkey geddit

Broad Strokes

Roll at point of contact
Or as Arnold puts it, roll just in time. Roll Stealth when you might be seen, not when you first fade into the shadows. Roll Tinkering when first operating your scratch-built invention, not while building it.

If anyone can do it, you do it better
Generally skills are either fairly open in their usage (Sleight of Hand) or they've got a specific usage (Sneak Attack).

The defined usage ones are fine, it's the open ones where I have to stop myself from calling for them whenever something's vaguely related.
Before asking for a skill check, ask yourself the following question - is there any reason they wouldn't just succeed?
If yes, cool! Ask for a skill check to complete the task!
If no, even better! Ask for a skill check to complete the task perfectly/quickly/stealthily/etc! Add a kicker, like "you Climb it easily, but if you pass Climb you can leave ropes to make everyone else's checks easier" or "you use the key on the door, but if you pass Sleight of Hand you do it swiftly without using an action and can keep running".

Don't plan for Specialists
Don't go into writing something with the assumption that there will be a Specialist in the party. That way when someone is a Specialist, they break the game and feel awesome.
"I'm putting a locked door here to give the Specialist something to do". Wrong.
"I'm putting a locked door here to keep people out, they'll have to smash it down". Right.
Oh shit you had a Specialist with Tinkering and you went through the door?! Fuck!
NB: This is how I approach all classes. Always assume nobody entering the dungeon will have special abilities, that way they always feel game-breaking special AND you don't hamstring your game because the Cleric didn't turn up tonight or nobody rolled a Specialist.

Avoid dicking over Specialists

In a similar vein, it's easy to get into the mindset where you feel you have to call for skill checks from a Specialist so they get some ROI on their skill choice.
Avoid this by asking the question the question above - is there any reason they wouldn't just succeed? Make it a roll for an extra good success if so.

No attribute checks

I used to do these, but skills and saves cover all situations better.
The issue is that attributes don't increase with level in this game, so a first level character with 12 Strength has the same chance of passing Strength checks at tenth level. Better to use skills and saves because they can be improved.
Anything not covered by a skill or a save is down to hashing out a ruling.

No bullshit difficulty levels
Late edition D&D loves giving different DCs for different lock types or for climbing walls of differing smoothness.
That's fucking boring. "DC 22 lock" has never been an interesting obstacle, and is blatantly there just to give ROI on skill choice. This ties into "Don't plan for Specialists" above. If you're putting a DC on a lock, you're planning for Specialists. Stop it.
If you want to make a lock impassable, just give a good reason and don't even roll for it. Non-euclidean mechanism requires a four dimensional key? Magical lock? Secret button? Just barred from the other side? Otherwise let them try with the flat skill check, no modifiers.
If they can't open an old lock, maybe they failed because the inside's rusted shut. If they manage to open a Dwarven Dragon Cylinder Mighty Mk VI Multilock, maybe they succeeded because someone left it on the latch.
Same with other skills of this sort. Tracking untrackable enemies? Just say they're untrackable and why. Climbing unclimbable walls? Say it's unclimbable and why.
I give modifiers for Languages a pass, because it's in the rules and get a bonus for high Int which sort of balances out.

Group checks
Hey you know those times when the guy who's good at picking locks fails, and so everyone else says "I'll give it a go!" and everyone rolls until someone picks the lock? Dumb.
Or when there's a group of people sneaking and the one Sneaky Guy fails while Clanky McClank in his plate armour manages to clatter out of sight? Dumb.
In any situation where everyone's trying to do the same thing, it's a group check. One person rolls, usually the most highly skilled, and everyone in the group uses that result. Roll a 1? Everyone succeeds! Roll a 4? Whoever has 4 or more succeeds!
If the master lockpicker can't pick the lock, nobody can.
If the Arcana expert can't identify that potion, nobody can.
If you've got two people with high Search, they could both spot the thing coming while the others don't.
The two people who have points in Stealth can stick to the shadows while their unskilled friends get seen.
This also removes the issue where a sufficiently large group of characters always has one or two people failing a skill check no matter what, making group Stealth a pointless endeavour. This way a group of unstealthy people will probably fail, but if they succeed then everyone succeeds together.
Bear in mind that I only call for a roll when it's above and beyond the ability of a competent character.
And again, I make an exception for Languages. It would be sillier to have a group check and everyone knows French now. Plus being one of the only people who can speak to the NPCs is part of the fun!

Also fuck that "no hiding in an empty corridor" thing, you do that movie clinging-to-the-ceiling-while-they-walk-under-you manoeuvre or throw a rock to distract them or pretend to be a lamp. 

Skills in Detail

Arcana

Specific usage so I just use it for the exact things it's useful for. Identifying the sort of "generic" mystery magic stuff like potions, scrolls and wands, and casting spells from same.
Group Check: For Identification. Albeit I roll that in secret in case they misidentify it.
Why it's bullshit maxed out: You know every potion in the world on sight and you can cast spells off any scroll even though you're no kind of wizard. Bullshit.

Bushcraft
An interesting one because it's got specific uses but sounds like it should cover a wider range of things. Specifically, it's for hunting, not getting lost, and healing overnight if you've got nowhere to stay.
You'd imagine you could use it for things like tracking and identifying animal tracks and mushrooms and things, right? I actually just tell people those things without them needing to roll. You're a competent wilderness explorer.
Group Check: For getting lost. Rolled in secret.

Why it's bullshit maxed out: You can find food in any terrain and never get lost even in the deepest darkest jungle. Bullshit.

Climbing

If you've got climbing stuff and as much time as you need, you just climb the wall. You're a competent wall climber.
I require a roll for climbing under stress, or for borderline-ridiculous climbing feats.
Climbing under stress is things like climbing at speed, climbing while under attack, climbing while encumbered, climbing without equipment etc etc
Climbing feats are things like firing a weapon while hanging off a ledge, or springing up a wall so quickly that you can still act when you reach the top, or climbing on a big monster. Crazy stuff that shouldn't work.
Note also that the price of failure for climbing is not always "you fall". Sometimes it's just "Ok it'll take a few rounds to climb back up, but if you roll Climb you can scamper up there in a single round" or "you've been going on about your climbing harness this whole time, if you fail you just waste your turn".
Group Check: When climbing in a group and under stress. Fairly rare.
Why it's bullshit maxed out: You can climb anything at speed without a harness or ropes or anything and can swing down a reverse overhang like it's nothing. Bullshit.

Languages
Easiest skill to explain. Roll whenever you hear or see a new language for the first time, if you succeed you've always known it. Penalties as per the rules.
Group Check: No.
Why it's bullshit maxed out: You know literally every language currently spoken, and many that haven't been spoken in thousands of years. Bullshit.

Search
I use this differently to base LotFP, and will probably change the name to Surprise or Awareness or Sense Danger or something in the future.
I use Search as a just-in-time danger sense thing. So it's a counter-ambush skill (replacing Surprise chance) and a counter-trap skill (oh shit that thing just went click time to fall to my knees and roll).
A successful Search roll means you get a single action before everything goes down, so you could JUST throw yourself backwards away from the pit trap as it opens or dive into cover because you JUST saw the glint off the sniper lens before it fires.
Group Check: If a whole group gets ambushed or all walk into the fireball corridor together or whatever.
Why it's bullshit maxed out: It is impossible to sneak up on you and you sense every dangerous thing moments before it happens. Bullshit.

Sleight of Hand
In addition to the regular open stuff like picking pockets and palming objects without anyone noticing, I also have some specific uses for this skill. Specifically, it's to reload firearms quickly, to instantly retrieve items from your inventory, and to swap weapons in combat without a penalty.
Group Check: No.
Why it's bullshit maxed out: You have the right tool for the right job every time, and can steal man's glasses off his nose without him realising it was you. Bullshit.

Sneak Attack
Straightforward, destroys single targets, absolutely brutal.
Group Check: No
Why it's bullshit maxed out: Six times damage multiplier what the fuuuuck!!

Potential Alternate Sneak Attack:
I haven't tested this yet.
- Roll Sneak Attack when attacking from Surprise, and if successful get a bonus to hit equal to the value on the die. That's +1 if you succeed with a 1, all the way up to +6 if you succeed with a 6.
- If you hit with an attack from Surprise, multiply damage by your whole Sneak Attack score unless the target passes a Search check.
This means it's not completely useless to have points in Sneak Attack and not Stealth. If we assume you're competent enough to stay hidden in an ambush, it's the enemy's fault if they don't notice you. Plus since they only get a Search check if you actually attack, you can stay hidden and let them pass by without giving yourself away.
It also means all characters get some small benefit from their 1-in-6 Sneak Attack value.
Group Check: No
Why it's bullshit maxed out: +1 to +6 bonus to hit from ambush, PLUS six times damage multiplier! What the fuuuucccccckkkkkk!!!

Stealth
In line with the "everyone is competent" idea, generally you only need to roll Stealth if you're pushing your luck somehow. Walking at those weirdly slow dungeon movement rates means you're going as quickly as possible while remaining stealthy and keeping an eye out for danger, but sneaking through a roomful of people or hiding from people who are looking for you requires a Stealth check.
That's the main use for Stealth.
The other is Combat Stealth. If you're flanking an enemy 5e-style (aka you and a buddy are in melee range of the same enemy) you can roll a Stealth check. On a success - that enemy can't target you on their turn if there are other targets available, and if you attack them next round it counts as attacking from Surprise.
Bear in mind you're not invisible, just elusive. You're rolling behind them or fading into the swirl of combat or even just faking them out. Randomly targeted effects and area attacks can still hit you.
Group Check: If sneaking in a group.
Why it's bullshit maxed out: You're so stealthy you can sneak through a cocktail party without being noticed by a single guest, and you can basically make enemies ignore you at will in combat. Bullshit.

Tinkering
Two big uses - locks and inventions.
Locks is obvious. Roll Tinkering and open the lock on success. A common group check because everyone's usually there together.
You're meant to use this for traps with exposed mechanisms, but I don't know if that comes up much. If there's a tripwire my players tend to step over it or set it off from a distance. Why risk a skill check when they could just player skill it?
Inventions is the fun one. This is my catch-all term for mechanical traps and the various ridiculous contrivances some players are wont to create. Snare? Grapnel gun? Chinese-style flamethrower?
Roll at point of use. Failure means it goes wrong in an entertaining fashion. If multiple people worked together to make it, it's a group check. Roll once and hope that someone's got enough Tinkering for it to work.
Group Check: Yes, for locks and inventions both.
Why it's bullshit maxed out: You can open any lock ever made AND you're a mad inventor of weird inventions that somehow just work? Bullshit.

Sailing
The primary example of a skill that's useless until OH NO it's suddenly REALLY USEFUL.
Anyone can operate a boat under normal conditions. You're a competent sailor.
It's abnormal conditions that require Sailing checks. Rapids! Storms! Ship combat! All sorts of stuff is covered by Sailing. It's useless until you're in a boat, at which point it's useful for pretty much everything.
As long as you're on deck and unengaged by another activity you can be involved in group Sailing checks.
Group Check: Yes.
Why it's bullshit maxed out: You can pilot any vessel and survive through any storm? Bullshit.

Music
Look ok, I added this skill mostly as a joke. Bards are stupid, and yet some players want to be Bards.
Originally just a shit way of making money on street corners, it's also a noisy way of getting +2 to Reaction Rolls.
But now there are magic instruments in my game which affect everyone who can hear them, unless you roll Music in which case you can choose who's affected. Bard instruments. This is who I am now.
Group Check: Nobody likes your band, man.
Why it's bullshit maxed out: Everyone likes your music and by busking you could earn up to 36 silver PER DAY! That's more than most people cost per day in the retainer list, so I guess that's pretty bullshit from their perspective.

First Aid
This is the non-magical healing skill and it's got defined uses so it's dead easy. Also, very good.
Out of combat - on a success you heal the target for the value of the die. So that's 1HP for succeeding on a 1, up to 6 for succeeding on a 6. Failing on a 6 deals one point of damage. This 1 point of damage has claimed three lives to date. I love it.
In combat it's maybe even more important with my Death & Dismemberment variant - on a success you remove a number of Death Dice equal to the value of the die. So remove 1 for success on a 1, all the way up to 6 for succeeding with a 6. As above, failing on a 6 deals 1 point of damage.
Group Check: No.
Why it's bullshit maxed out: You can heal people consistently, bring people back from the edge of death, and never even run out of healing juice like a Cleric would! Bullshit.