200 Failed Medieval Careers

I like the idea that new characters start with a profession they failed at/got bored with/were fired from before they started out on the road to fortune and doom.
I made the jobs pretty standard because I am boring and so try to keep things fairly normal until the Weird Shit starts happening, so there are no leech-fuckers or tree-gobblers or anything like that.
But you can rename them if you want I don't mind!

Also I managed to get to 200 things with only like 2 joke options which for me is fucking amazing.

If you're complaining because your weedy, highly intelligent wizard used to be a bouncer then I guess that's why he got fired, right?

Spreadsheets for you to have!

The thing I just finished:
d200 Failed Medieval Careers

Hey what you found some esoteric bullshit mundane medieval job?! Chuck it on here! It could be great!
Public spreadsheet YOU can edit! (Edit: Someone's turned this into a 5e version!)

 

Basic Deal

At char gen roll a random profession!
Gain:
 - A free (often repurposed) weapon!
 - A free random extra thing!
 - A bonus to doing stuff if you can justify it being related to your job!

With thanks to/stolen from:

DCC quickstart guide
 
Giblet Blizzard (often translated from weird-ese for portability, sorry Jez!)

Tenkar's Tavern

Roles, Rules and Rolls

The Table Itself in case you are unable to get to the spreadsheet:

Roll	Occupation	Starting Weapon	Something extra
1	Academic	Staff	Quill and ink
2	Actor	Cudgel	Flowers, 1 bunch
3	Alchemist	Staff	Oil, 1 flask
4	Animal Trainer	Whip	Pony
5	Apothecary	Dagger	Pestle and mortar
6	Aristocrat	Rapier	Foppish wig
7	Armourer	Spiked gauntlet (cestus)	Iron helmet
8	Artist	Sharpened paintbrush	Self portrait
9	Assassin	Knife in sleeve sheathe	Poison, 1 dose
10	Astrologer	Wiggly dagger	Spyglass
11	Atilliator	Crossbow	Iron bars
12	Baker	Breadknife	Bread, 1 loaf
13	Barber	Straight razor	Scissors
14	Bartender	Crossbow	Beer, 6 pack
15	Beekeeper	Jar of bees	Honey, 1 jar
16	Beggar	Sling	Crutches
17	Bellringer	Long hook (mancatcher)	Rope, 50'
18	Besom maker	Broom (staff)	Corn stalks, 1 bundle
19	Blacksmith	Blacksmith's hammer	Steel tongs
20	Bloodletter	Knife	Leeches, 1 jar
21	Bodger	Knife	Shaving horse
22	Bouncer	Brass knuckles	Groin protection
23	Bowyer	Longbow	Spare bowstring
24	Brewer	Keg tapper	Cask of ale
25	Bricklayer	Bricklaying stick (staff)	Bag of bricks
26	Busker	Reinforced instrument	Instrument case.
27	Butcher	Meat cleaver	Ham hock
28	Butler	Empty bottle	Tin serving tray
29	Candlestick maker	Candlestick	3 candles
30	Caravan guard	Shortsword	Linen, 1 yard
31	Cartographer	Shortsword	Local area map
32	Chalk cutter	Chisel	Chalk, 5 pieces
33	Charcoal burner	Scoop	Charcoal, 1 bag
34	Cheesemonger	Cheesewire (garotte)	Cheese, 1 wheel
35	Chimney sweep	Broom (staff)	Wire brush
36	Chirurgeon	Bonesaw	Needle and thread
37	Clockmaker	Turnscrew (ye olde screwdriver)	Specialist's tools
38	Clown	Club	Huge shoes
39	Cobbler	Awl	Shoehorn
40	Colporteur	Letter opener	Religious tome
41	Cook	Fillet knife	Chef hat
42	Cooper	Crowbar	Barrel
43	Courtesan	Stiletto in boot sheath	Make up kit
44	Crystal carver	Chisel	Crystals, 1 pouch
45	Cultist	Wiggly dagger	Blood, 1 pint
46	Cutpurse	Dagger	Small chest
47	Dentist	Hammer	Sack of teeth
48	Diplomat	Cudgel	Fancy clothes
49	Ditch digger	Shovel	Dirt, 1 bag
50	Dog breeder	Whip	Dog
51	Drug dealer	Shank	Cocaine-analog, 1 oz.
52	Dung collector	Pitchfork	Manure, 1 bag
53	Dyer	Stirring paddle (club)	3 small jars of dye
54	Engraver	Chisel	3 Etchings
55	Falconer	Thick leather glove	Trained hawk
56	False prophet	Staff	Devoted disciple
57	Farmer (crops)	Scythe	Ox
58	Farmer (dairy)	Goad (spear)	Milk, 1 pint
59	Farmer (drugs)	Shank	3 joints
60	Farmer (flowers)	Spade	Flowers, 1 bunch
61	Farmer (fruit)	Garden shears	Fruit, 1 bag (5 standard rations)
62	Farmer (herbs)	Sickle	Herbs, 1 pouch
63	Farmer (mushrooms)	Trowel (dagger)	Mushrooms, 1 bag
64	Farmer (pigs)	Crook (staff)	Piglet
65	Farmer (poultry)	Boning knife	Hen
66	Farmer (vegetables)	Hoe (staff)	Vegetables, 1 bag (5 standard rations)
67	Farmer (worms)	Club	Worms, 1 jar
68	Farrier	Hoof nippers (club)	Horseshoe, iron
69	Fence	Light crossbow	10sp sewn into jacket hem
70	Fireman	Fire axe	Bucket
71	Fisherman (freshwater)	Boning knife	Fishing rod & tackle
72	Fisherman (sea)	Large net	Fish
73	Flagellant	Thick, knotted rope (flail)	Shitty relic
74	Fletcher	Shortbow	Arrows, Bundle of 100
75	Cupbearer	Steak knife	Antidote, 1 vial
76	Forester	Longbow	Bear trap
77	Fortune teller	Wiggly dagger	Tarot deck
78	Fowler	Boning knife	Dog
79	Fuller	Club	Bale of wool
80	Furrier	Skinning knife	Dog pelt
81	Gambler	Club	Dice
82	Gardener	Shovel	Secateurs
83	Glassblower	Glassblowing tube	3 empty jars
84	Gluemaker	Huge spoon	Glue, 1 pot
85	Gong farmer	Trowel (dagger)	Night soil, 1 bag
86	Pimp	Cane (club)	Fancy clothes
87	Grave digger	Shovel	Grave dirt, 1 bag
88	Grave robber	Shovel	Small yet valuable totem (5sp)
89	Greengrocer	Staff	Handcart
90	Grifter	Dagger	Quality cloak
91	Gutter cleaner	Gutter pole (staff)	Bucket
92	Gyspy	Sling	Voodoo doll
93	Haberdasher	Scissors (dagger)	Pocketful of buttons
94	Handyman	Hammer	Ladder
95	Hawker	Dagger	Small, valuable goods (10sp)
96	Hayward	Shears	Horn
97	Faith healer	Club	Holy water, 1 vial
98	Chapman	Shortsword	Pony
99	Herbalist	Dagger	Herbs, 1 pouch
100	Hermit	Gnarled oak club	Bearskin cloak
101	Horse whisperer	Lassoo (mancatcher)	Horse hair brush
102	Hunter	Shortbow	Deer Pelt
103	Icecutter	Ice saw	Big chunk of ice
104	Incense bearer	Censor (flail)	Incense
105	Jester	Dart	Silk clothes
106	Jeweler	Chisel (dagger)	Uncut jewel worth 20sp
107	Joiner	Mallet	Chair
108	Knacker	Hammer	Jar of glue
109	Lamp lighter	10' pole	Flint and tinder
110	Lawyer	Rapier	Law books
111	Leatherworker	Club	Leather armour
112	Hetheleder	Long knife	Heather, 1 bag
113	Librarian	Letter opener	Interesting book
114	Lighterman	Ten foot pole	Shallow-bottomed boat
115	Linkboy	Big stick (club)	Hooded lantern
116	Locksmith	Dagger	Specialist's tools
117	Lookout	Shortbow	Spyglass
118	Mason	Hammer	Chunk of marble
119	Mercenary	Longsword	Leather armour
120	Messenger	Shortbow	Horse
121	Midwife	Scalpel (dagger)	Forceps
122	Miller	Club	Flour, 1 bag.
123	Milliner	Scissors (dagger)	Vial of mercury
124	Miner	Pickaxe	Bag of coal
125	Minstrel	Dagger	Lame instrument
126	Moneylender	Dagger	3d6 sp
127	Monk	Staff	Religious tome
128	Mucker	Pitchfork (spear)	Broom
129	Night watchman	Truncheon	Shiny steel helmet
130	Nobleman's son	Longsword	silver ring worth 20 sp
131	Organ thief	Scalpel (dagger)	Spare kidney on ice in sack
132	Orphan	Big stick (medium, smashy)	Rag doll
133	Ostler	Staff	Bridle
134	Outlaw	Shortsword	Leather armour
135	Oyster raker	Rake	Crushed oyster shells, 1 bag
136	Painter	Paint scraper (dagger)	Paints and brushes
137	Parchment maker	Scraping knife (dagger)	Parchment, 3 pieces
138	Pawnbroker	Crossbow	Fancy clothes
139	Peat cutter	Spade	Peat, 1 bag
140	Philosopher	Sharp pen	Large, half-empty tome
141	Pickler	Ladle	Brine, 1 jar
142	Pie maker	Rolling pin	Delicious pie
143	Pirate	Cutlass	Treasure map
144	Plague doctor	Knife	Crow-beaked mask
145	Postman	Cudgel	Handcart
146	Prison warden	Mancatcher	Bunch of keys
147	Prostitute	Brass knuckles	Make up kit
148	Puppeteer	Club	Puppet
149	Quill cutter	Dagger	Uncut feathers, 2d4
150	Rat catcher	Long net (staff)	Small but vicious dog
151	Riverbank comber	Gaff hook (mancatcher)	Manky net
152	Sailor	Shortsword	Spyglass
153	Scholar	Dagger	Complicated Book
154	Scribe	Darts	Parchment, 10 sheets
155	Scrimshaw	Engraving awl (dagger)	Ivory, 1 piece
156	Scullion	Stick	Raggedy clothing
157	Seamstress	Long needle (dagger)	Unspun wool
158	Servant	Dagger	Locket
159	Sewerhand	Staff	Stanky clothes
160	Shaman	Mace	Herbs, 1 pouch
161	Shepherd	Crook (staff)	Sheep
162	Shingler	Mallet	Roof tiles
163	Shipwright	Hammer	Pocketful of nails
164	Shoe shiner	Shinin' rag (garotte)	Shoe polish
165	Shrubber	Shears	A herring
166	Sinecure	Rapier	Wax seal stamp
167	Slave	Club	Funny looking rock
168	Slaver	Whip	Map of foreign lands
169	Smuggler	Sling	Waterproof sack
170	Soldier	Spear	Shield
171	Spice merchant	Club	Spice, 1 bag
172	Spy	Dagger in sleeve sheath	Specialist's tools
173	Squire	Longsword	Steel helmet
174	Stevedore	Crowbar	Empty crate
175	Stonecutter	Sledgehammer	Fossil
176	Milkmaid	Wooden stool	Milk bucket
177	Street magician	Staff	White rabbit
178	Street sweeper	Broom (staff)	Trash, 1 bag
179	Tailor	Long needle (dagger)	Fine clothes
180	Taxidermist	Long needle (dagger)	Stuffed cat
181	Thatcher	Shearing hook (axe)	Legget
182	Thief	Dagger	5 caltrops
183	Thug	Club	Necklace of teeth
184	Tinker	Hammer	Tin snips
185	Torturer	Jagged knife	Specialist's tools
186	Trader	Shortsword	20 cp
187	Trapper	Sling	Badger pelt
188	Urchin	Big stick	Alms bowl
189	Vaginarius	Shortsword	Ornate scabbard
190	Vagrant	Hobbling cane (staff)	Alms bowl
191	Veterinarian	Long needle (dagger)	Painkillers
192	Village idiot	Sausage	Urine, 1 pint
193	Vintner	Staff	Fine wine, 1 bottle
194	Wainwright	Club	Pushcart
195	Water carrier	Staff	Two wooden buckets
196	Weaponsmith	Longsword	Oils and whetstones
197	Weaver	Dagger	Fine suit of clothes
198	Window tapper	Staff	10' pole
199	Woodcutter	Handaxe	Wood, 1 bundle
200	Zealot	Gnarled staff	Soapbox