Making Death Meaningful

So this guy was talking about how it's important to let a character live if a random die roll would give them a meaningless death.

From now on, I am giving characters a meaningful death forever. By using this chart.

Diagnosis	Means of Destroying Character Sheet
Slicing	Torn in half
Stabbing	Held taut by player, stabbed over and over with pencil
Bashing	Screwed into a ball and stomped on.
Piercing	Held taut by player, stabbed a single time through the character portrait.
Mauling	Torn to shreds.
Falling	Balled up and thrown out the window.
Drowning	Placed in a cupful of water.
Freezing	As above, but put in the freezer.
Burning	Lit on fire with a lighter.
Exploding	Curled into a hollow ball, filled with sparkler dust, lit.
Dismembering	Stats and portrait carefully cut from sheet.
Starving	Eaten.